FMA Fangirls' Lives With Ed And Envy
by I Madame Red I
Summary: Randomness! Stupidess! And Blowing things up! We got it all... or most of it! It's another one of those stupid, random fanfics! Read if interested or have nothing better to do! Chapter 7 is up! YAY RANDOMNESS!
1. Random Days!

animefan127: AHHHH! IT ISN'T HUMAN! _-tries to slurps slushie but starts having a spaz attack trying to suck slushie out of straw; rolling on the floor-_

yumyumbagel: Sorry folks but me and animefan127 here just watched Invader Zim for inspiration.

animefan127: Heeeeeeey... weren't we supposed to meet Ed and Envy somewheres... ? Liiiiiike... a food place... ?

yumyumbagel: I dont know... but lets go to FRIENDLYS!

animefan127: _-screams-_ NOOOOOOOO! _-tries to slurp slushie-_ Wait... isn't that the place with the pretty red sign... ?

yumyumbagel: _-Gasp-_ Your right...the pretty light calls us and-- hey wait! I REMEMBERED where we were supposed to meet Ed and Envy for our date!

animefan127: ...really? _-runs up walls making squeaky noises-_

yumyumbagel: Hey! We agreed that it would be ME running up the walls, but at least we still have that whole ''light the table on fire idea''... I said too much... _-Looks at readers-_ YOU HEARD NOTHING!

animefan127: Aww... I remember it like it was today...

yumyumbagel: It was today when we were eating dinner and we randomly thought of Ed and Envy!

animefan127: Oh yeah! Was there a burrito involved? Or a taco?

yumyumbagel: Naw...that was last week. _-wink wink-_

animefan127: Aww... I want a burrito... _-slurps slushie-_ Let's have a flashback!

yumyumbagel: NOOOOOO! THAT MEANS MORE WRITTING!

animefan127: ... Wri- what? Oh well. Flashback! W00T!

_flashback_

_animefan127: -looks around dinner table at Envy, Ed, and yumyumbagel- I'm hungry._

_yumyumbagel: -Sinks under table with animefan127 playing Jaws music-_

_Ed?_

_Envy?_

_yumyumbagel: Dun un... dun un..._

_animefan127: Dun un, dun un, dun un._

_yumyumbagel: -breaks throught table with spork wearing batman costume- BATMAN!_

_animefan127: -does same with a fork wearing robin costume- AND ROBIN!_

_Ed & Envy: O.o WTF!_

_-yumyumbagel and animefan127 start taking off costume-_

_Ed & Envy: -fall over anime style with nosebleeds-_

_yumyumbagel: What? I'm wearing a black miniskirt and cami underneath! -looks at Envy-_

_animefan127: -slams hands on table after taking off costume wearing jeans and tank top- Quick! Matches!_

_yumyumbagel: Oh yeah! -pulls matches out of bra-_

_Envy: -gets a worse nosebleed-_

_animefan127: YAY! -pulls liquor bottle out of pocket and pours it on table- _

_Ed?_

_Envy: -suffering from massive blood loss- ?_

_yumyumbagel: -lights match- I wonder what'll happen if I drop it... -drops match onto table; table bursts into flames-_

_animefan127 & yumyumbagel: Ooo... pretty light..._

_Ed: -grabs animefan127 and takes her out of the burning resturant while envy does the same with yumyumbagel- Holy shit! You burnt down the damn resturant!_

_animefan127: Aww. I love you too._

_yumyumbagel: I know... and Envy umm... your kinda groping my crotch._

_Envy: -drops yumyumbagel-_

_yumyumbagel: OW! GOD DAMN YOU! I didn't say stop!_

_End Flashback_

animefan127: Oops. That was a Flashfuture.

yumyumbagel: Flash-what?

animefan127: _-starts crying-_ I ruined the chapter... WAAAAH! _-rolls around on the floor crying- WHY!_

yumyumbagel: Well I guess you did.Thanks alot asshole... now I can't see Envy and you can't see Ed and now we gotta end the chapter all thanks to you!

animefan127: Aww... your welcome. _-realizes something-_ We can make weird stuff for the chapter... liiiiike... _-goes into deep thought-_ flying slushies of doom. _-slurps slushie having another spaz attack-_

yumyumbagel: We could...or we could go on our date so that we can see Ed and Envy!

animefan127: No... wait... yes... wait... I DON'T KNOW! I think we should just order pizza. _-drools-_

yumyumbagel: Yeah I guess we could and besides, I'm too lazy to walk all the way to Friendlys.

animefan127: But it's right next door. Oh well.

yumyumbagel: _-Gets phone and orders pizza- _Ed and Envy will find us eventually... when they get bored.

animefan127: Hmm... then they'll be here muuuuuuuuuch later. _-grins-_

yumyumbagel: Well more pizza for us an-_- -realizes that animefan127 has found out secret plan-_ WHAT HAVE YOU FOUND OUT BECAUSE IF YOU WERE THINKING SOMETHING WELL, YOU KNOW, THEN YOU ARE WRONG! _-thinks- _Damn! She has found out my plan!

animefan127: Noooooo... I just know some secret stuffs... Envy and Ed told me. Ed's somewhere on a mission trying to take out some hillbillies who think it's fun poking crickets and to skin cats with their teeth... you should try it sometime. _-grins- _And Envy's-- _ -thinks for a second-_ I'm not aloud to tell nobody where Envy is. _-starts singing the 'doom' song-_

yumyumbagel: HE'S WITH LUST ISN'T HE! -s_hakes animefan127's shoulders-_

animefan127: Nooooooo... your cold. Nowhere near the answer. I know where he is, and I can't tell you. He told me not to tell you, especially, where he is. _-sings the 'doom' song again and runs around in a circle-_

yumyumbagel: Well if I can't pursuade you then maybe... _-pulls out chocolate bubblegum slushie- _This will. Now either tell me where Envy is or no slushie.

animefan127: _-stares at yumyumbagel like she has eight eyes-_

yumyumbagel: So is that a yes or a no because if it's a no then I guess I get this slushie all to myself with no one to help me finish it when I drink it.

animefan127: Yes! GIVE ME THE SLUSHIE! SLUSHIE FIRST! WAAAAAH! _-goes on a spazz attack, screaming and running around crazily like Gir from Invader Zim-_

yumyumbagel:_-Gives animefan127 the slushie-_ Now... SPILL! WHERE IS HE!

animefan127: _-slurps entire slushie- _ Hmm... yes I won't tell you.

yumyumbagel: He's cheating isn't he...

animefan127: Noooooooo... your freezing... lalala... WEEEEEEEEE! _-runs around trying to slurp slushie-_

yumyumbagel: _-Gets idea to trick animefan127 into telling where Envy is-_ Where did Envy tell you not to tell me?

animefan127:_ -frowns-_ Whhhhhyyyyyyy? I don't wanna! He told me no or else! _-starts crying-_

yumyumbagel: Well if he hurts you I'll hurt him back for you and there's another slushie in it for you if you tell...

animefan127: He was gonna rape me! _-runs crying into the next room trying to slurp slushie-_

yumyumbagel: Well I'll make sure he doesn't, and if he does those, Christmas photos of well, you know, get out for all of Central City to see...

animefan127: But... I promised... _-looks out window-_ SQUIRREL! _-jumps out random window chasing squirrel with slushie-_

yumyumbagel: -_searches animefan127's room for any signs of were Envy went. Looks through dresser and finds a letter-_

animefan127: _-jumps through window and grabs letter before yumyumbagel could read it-_ This is not for you! _-runs away with letter-_

yumyumbagel: Fine _-Disappears from story-_

animefan127: _-reads letter and giggles-_ It's my letter... from Ed. _-shouts-_ NOT YOURS YUMYUMBAGEL! MINE!

yumyumbagel: _-calls from far-off distance-_ Tell me where Envy is, and I'll come back!

animefan127: _-sees Envy walk into the room- _Hi! Yumyumbagel was trying to get me to tell her where you were, but I didn't! _-smiles as Envy pats animefan127 on the head-_ YAY! _-sees Ed come through door-_ ED!

Envy: Your good at keeping secrets. _-thinks- _No matter how dumb you are.

Ed: _-gets glomped by animefan127 and falls together-_ Ack!

animefan127: Oh Eddy-bear! I missed you! Can we go to the movies now! Please! I was tortured without seeing you here! _-puts on sad puppy eyes-_

Ed: _-sighs out of defeat-_ fine, but first, we need to go eat... how about the buffet?

animefan127: _-beams-_ Okay! _-walks out of door with Ed-_

Envy: _-smiles and then frowns-_ Oh crap... she's coming... _-looks for a place to hide-_

yumyumbagel: _-Appears randomly in front of Envy before he can hide_- WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?

Envy: Eep! _-crashes out of random window, running after Ed and animefan127-_ Wait! I'll join you guys!

Ed: _-yells- _Not until you come with yumyumbagel!

animefan127: Don't yell! The walls have ears... _-looks around quickly-_

Ed: _-whispers-_ Oh yeah... I remember last time...

animefan127: Flashback!

Ed: _-groans in annoyance-_

_flashback_

_animefan127: NOOO! -yumyumbagel and Envy are grabbed by the wall's tentacles and flailed around--_

Ed: WAIT A SECOND! Wrong flashback!

animefan127: Huh? _-thinks for a second-_ Oh yeah! That was our mini horror film!

Ed: I'll put on the correct flashback.

_correct flashback_

_-moan comes from yumyumbagel's room-_

_meanwhile in animefan127's room..._

_Ed: What the fuck... ? WE'RE TRYING TO SLEEP GOD DAMMIT!_

_animefan127: -groggily gets up and hugs Ed- Ed... what's the matter?_

_yumyumbagel: -screams from other room- FASTER ENVY!_

_Envy: I'M GOING AS FAST AS I CAN!_

_Ed: -gets up angrily-_

_animefan127: Ed... don't..._

_Ed: -goes into yumyumbagel's room and stares- Oh._

_yumyumbagel: -looks up with a stopwatch- What? _

_Envy: -has piece of bread in hand with peanut butter on it- We're just making sandwiches._

_Ed: Just remember, next time you do that, the walls have ears._

_animefan127: -calls from other room- Come on Ed! Don't kill them over sandwiches! _

_Ed: How did you know?_

_animefan127: Wasn't it obvious?_

_Ed: Well... uh... I thought... why did you moan?_

_yumyumbagel: The sandwhich tastes so good!_

_Ed: -sweatdrops and goes back into animefan127's room-_

_end correct flashback_

animefan127: Oh yeah...

Ed: Yup. I couldn't sleep for the rest of the night because they were so DAMN LOUD!

yumyumbagel: _-random scream from house- _Thank you!

Envy: Do I have to take her... ?

Ed & animefan127: Yup.

Envy: _-groans in annoyance-_ I'll just follow you, but I won't go to the same movie.

animefan127: You know... she'll just come after you and fuck you all night long if you don't take her.

Ed: _-gasps-_ That actually makes sense!

animefan127: Or you can tell her where you were and she won't bother you.

Envy: ... fine.

animefan127: Don't tell a lie or else... um... I got a lie detector! _-whips out lie detector complete with helmet-_

Ed: Will that fit on his head... ? His hair is like a palm tree's...

Envy: I'M NOT A DAMN PALM TREE!

Ed: Don't come back until you tell her where you were. I know she'll never believe it...

animefan127: _-whines- _Ed, the popcorn's getting cold!

Ed: Popcorn?

animefan127: _-pulls popcorn from bra-_

Ed: _-falls over anime style with a nose bleed-_

Envy? Where'd you get the popcorn?

animefan127: I dunno... I found it.

yumyumbagel: _-far away scream-_ Will you tell me where you were!

Envy: Fine! I WENT TO THE GAS STATION!

_-everybody gasps-_

yumyumbagel: Why! Why'd it take so long!

Envy: Because there was a frickin' long line! I JUST WANTED A FRICKIN' STICK OF GUM! **GUM! AND I NEVER GOT IT EITHER!**

yumyumbagel: _-appears in front of Envy and hugs him; knocking him onto the ground-_ All is forgiven!

animefan127: My slushie is melting! Can we go now!

Ed: What are we going to see?

animefan127: PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN! W00T! YAY JACK SPARROW!

_-everyone except yumyumbagel cheers-_

yumyumbagel: I hate that movie... _-scowls-_

animefan127: _-pulls out hammer and whacks yumyumbagel on the head-_

Ed: _-sweatdrops-_ A blow up hammer?

animefan127: Nuuu... a **truth** hammer. _-laughs sinisterly-_

yumyumbagel: Envy I have a confession to make... _-Looks at Envy with teary eyes- _

Envy: What? Okaaaaaaaaay...

yumyumbagel: You know your new Myspace... ?

Envy: Uh... yeah... ? _-thinks with wide eyes-_ No...

yumyumbagel: Yes... I stole your Myspace's virginity...

Envy: NOOOOOOOO! Wait... mine or Wrath's?

yumyumbagel: Both.

Envy: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Ed: Wha!

animefan127: No... you didn't!

yumyumbagel: Yes I did... I am the one who left them there... _-sobbs-_

animefan127: That's... that's...

Ed: What?

Envy: _-still screaming-_ NOOOOOOO _-breathes- _OOOOOOOOO!

animefan127: Like a doughnut.

Ed: _-sweatdrops-_ Um... okay...

yumyumbagel: First...COMMENTS!

Envy: FUCK YOU!

yumyumbagel: When, where, and how hard?

Envy: _-gives a sigh of frustaration and starts running down the street-_ LUST WAS RIGHT! I SHOULD'VE STARRED IN THE LOONEY TUNES!

Bugs Bunny: Eh? What's up dock?

Ed: WTF! _-transmutes blade and kills bugs bunny-_

animefan127: Yay! Rabbit for dinner!

yumyumbagel: _-Falls on ground and starts crying- _WHYY! ENVY AND BUGS BUNNY! WHHHHHHY?

animefan127: Because, I, one of the authoresses, wrote it. I can do this too.

_-bugs bunny suddenly has a skull bandanna on and pulls out a machine gun-_

Ed: _-wide eyes-_ Oh shit...

Bugs Bunny: Say 'ello to my little friend! _-starts shooting machine gun at Ed-_

Ed:_ -runs behind a random mailbox-_ ANIMEFAN127! STOP MESSING AROUND WITH THE STORY!

animefan127: Okay...

Bugs Bunny: _-vanishes and reappears in Looney Tune land where he killed every toon with his 'little friend'-_

yumyumbagel: WHY! ENVY! I NEED CUDDLING! _-cries harder-_

animefan127: _-collapses from waiting to long to go to the movies-_

Ed: OMG! Are you alright!

yumyumbagel: _-cries more-_

Ed: Oh shit... now I'm stuck with two girls... one crying and one fainting. ENVY! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE TO CUDDLE WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND! IT'S TEARING ME APART!

Envy: _-appears out of mailbox-_ Fine. _-cuddles with yumyumbagel-_

yumyumbagel: _-starts to do the cry were you can't breathe and then faints-_

Ed: _-carries animefan127 into house-_

Envy: Why did she cry harder! Jeez! I will never understand women... _-throws yumyumbagel onto couch-_

-----------random------break------------(with authoresses talking)

animefan127: _-looks at yumyumbagel to see her angry-_

yumyumbagel: Why am I always getting thrown and not ever having any love!

animefan127: Because Envy's not the 'loving' kind. You know? I mean... you never know where he's been and who he transformed into.

yumyumbagel: _-gasps-_ Your right! I should cheat on him!

animefan127: _-sweatdrops-_ Um, no. Only make him envious that he's not getting your love... or what ever you call 'love'.

yumyumbagel: I see and then he will want me back... right?

animefan127: Um, yeah... I guess... who?

yumyumbagel: Well we don't want to ruin the whole story or chapter or whatever you call this..._-Gets evil smile-_

animefan127: Um... okay... I'm hungry... _-goes into kitchen to grab a snack-_

yumyumbagel: _-While animefan127 is gone reveals plot and whispers- _I honestly have no Idea who it is gonna be...

animefan127: Back. Did I miss anything? I'm making popcorn in the microwave. _-grins-_ Ah... buttery goodness...

yumyumbagel: YAAAAY POPCORN!

-------back-------to-------story---------(after authoresses have awakened)

animefan127: _-groans-_ Ow... what hit me... ? Not a train I hope...

yumyumbagel: _-Gets up and walks out of the door paying no mind to Envy.­_-

Envy: Where is she going... ?

animefan127: She told me not to tell you.

Envy: What? How?

animefan127: One of the greatest mysteries of life... DREAMLAND!

Ed: _-whispers-_ I read what you wrote up there. _-points to random break paragraph-_ This'll be good... now he will want her like she wanted him.

animefan127: Um... who?

Ed: I don't know. Who is she gonna go out--

yumyumbagel: _-bursts through door with Ed's poor younger brother-_ This is my new **BOYFRIEND!** B-O-Y-F-R-E-I-N-D! _-emphasizes in front of Envy making him cringe(spelled wrong on purpose)-_

Envy: What!

Ed: Al! What the hell is she talking about!

Al: I don't know brother... all of a sudden she just grabbed me and--

yumyumbagel: YOU SHALL ALL SEE LATER!

Ed: _-whispers to animefan127-_ This **is** gonna be good.

animefan127: _-whispers to Ed-_ I feel reaaaaaally bad for your brother, but as long as it isn't you, I'm fine.

Envy: I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME! **ME! M-E! ME!**

yumyumbagel: You **thought**. _-grabs Al and drags him out the door-_

Al: BROTHER!

Ed: _-slurps slushie while animefan127 eats popcorn-_ Sorry! I can't save you now!

----------outside--------two--blocks------away------

yumyumbagel: That was great! You really stuck to the script!

Al: Uh... yeah... I know. _-points to the script glued on his hand-_

yumyumbagel: I can't believe Envy never noticed the script, that's bigger than your hand, and wow... the readers didn't know either.

Al: _-sweatdrops-_ But you never told the readers.

yumyumbagel: _-gives Al ten dollars-_ Here's for your trouble.

Al: Thanks. _-walks to pet shop-_

yumyumbagel: _-walks back to animefan127's house-_

-----back------at-----house-------

Envy: _-sitting in a dark corner with little spirits floating around him as he becomes seriously depressed-_ She should've been back by now... she doesn't love me anymore--

yumyumbagel: _-crashes through door-_ I HAVE ARRIVED!

Envy: _-depression ends and is replaced by anger-_ WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN!

yumyumbagel: HAVING HOT SEX!

----in----another----room-------

animefan127 & Ed: WHAT? _-starts cracking up and rolls on the floor-_

Ed: I thought she was gonna stick to the script!

animefan127: But this is better!

----back-----in--room------with-----yumyumbagel-----&-----Envy------

Envy:_ -eyes widen in shock as his mouth drops-_ **WHAT!**

yumyumbagel: You heard me!

-----half---hour-----later-----with-----animefan127----&------Ed---------

animefan127: Hey... the camera broke.

Ed: What? But I just fixed it...

_-thump then high pitched scream is heard-_

Ed: I hope he isn't killing her!

animefan127: _-watches Ed run to the door-_ ED! DON'T GO IN THERE!

Ed: _-swings door open and stares in horror-_

Envy: Jeez! It was just a frickin' spider! Don't scream! _-holds dead spider's body by it's leg-_

yumyumbagel: _-on couch; trembling and cowering in fear-_ I... hate... spiders...

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	2. Reading Glasses! Oo

animefan127: LASERS!

yumyumbagel: _-screams in pain when laser gets shot in eye-_

animefan127: We are back with more randomness than ever before! BUAHAHAHAHAHA! _-cough-_

yumyumbagel: TACO! _-recovers from laser and pulls out taco from bra-_

animefan127: O...kay... Anyways, onto the insanly random story!

-----chapter----------two------(i'm hungry... pancakes!)-----------

Ed: A spider!

animefan127: Yeah... I was trying to tell you to read the script. _-points to script in hand-_

Ed: Oh...

yumyumbagel: What did you think me and Envy were doing? Having hot sex?

Ed: Um... no. I thought Envy was killing you.

yumyumbagel: Well there goes my fantasy...

animefan127: _-lays on floor-_ So... hungry... need... food! _-looks at Envy-_ Food! _-attacks Envy and bites his arm-_

Envy: AAAAHHH! GET IT OFFA ME!

Ed: Holy shit...

yumyumbagel: Wait! I have... -_pulls out popsickel from bra- _THIS!_ -eats popsicle-_

animefan127: _-still chewing on Envy's arm-_ GIVE ME YOUR FLESH!

Envy: NEVER! ­_-slams animefan127 against wall; flying off of his it's arm-_

animefan127: Ow! _-cracking is heard as animefan127 collides with the wall-_ I think I broke my wrist... ow...

yumyumbagel: _-sits on couch with videoplayer watching and eating popcorn in happiness-_ We can start a NEW horror movie now!

Ed: _-gasps-_ Animefan127! _-transmutes blade and lunges at Envy-_

Envy: _-observing damage from animefan127 while dodging Ed's assaults- _That bitch... she made me bleed!

Ed: SHE'S NOT A BITCH! _-slams Envy in the stomach with elbow-_

yumyumbagel: _-still filming-_ THIS IS GOLD!

Envy: _-backflips and turns arm into a blade like Ed's and attacks him-_

animefan127: _-runs between Ed and Envy-_ STOP! _-gets stabbed by Envy and falls onto Ed-_

yumyumbagel: _-gasp while still recording-_ We are so gonna make it on Americas Funniest Homevideos!

Ed: That's all you can say with your best friend dying!

yumyumbagel: Yup. Besides... she's not dead.

Ed: What?

animefan127: _-jumps up- _I am alive! _-takes cardboard out from under shirt-_

yumyumbagel: You really stuck to the script! Too bad Ed and Envy didn't read it.

animefan127: But it still worked. Besides... I really wanted to eat Envy's arm... I'm SO GOD DAMNED HUNGRY! AND ENVY REALLY HURT ME! _-cries while pointing to dangling wrist-_

yumyumbagel: Envy...

Envy: _-pouting-_ What?

yumyumbagel: _-points to the room at the end of the random hall-_ Go to your room.

Envy: No.

yumyumbagel: GO TO YOUR ROOM AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE, MISTER!

Envy: Fine! _-stomps down the hall and slams door behind him where small cries are heard-_

Ed: _-examines animefan127's wrist and wraps it-_ You won't be able to write that much...

animefan127: WHAT! NO! I'M WRITING TOO! _-yelps as pain shoots through wrist from typing-_

yumyumbagel: I feel bad that I yelled Envy... but he is not allowed out UNTIL HE THINKS ABOUT WHAT HE HAS DONE! _-emphasizes last part while walking down the hall-_

animefan127: _-passes out-_

Ed: What the hell!

yumyumbagel: QUICK MEDIC!

Ed: What medic! _-panics-_

yumyumbagel: Quick Ed! What's the number for 911!

Envy: _-yells from room with sobs in between-_ 9-1-1!

yumyumbagel: Okay... don't panic, don't panic, don't--

Ed: The phone's dead!

yumyumbagel: Oh shit... I didn't pay the phone bill...

Ed: Great job asshole!

yumyumbagel: Just put her on her bed and she'll be fine.

animefan127: _-goes into cardiac arrest-_

Ed: Oh shit! She's not breathing!

yumyumbagel: _-starts singing Evanescence song named Hello-_ Playground school bell rings... again. Rain clouds come to play... again. Suddenly I know she's not breathing, hello--

Ed: THAT'S NOT HELPING!

yumyumbagel: Fine!

Ed: Jeez! _-transmutes Defribulator-_

yumyumbagel: _-daydreaming-_

Ed: PAY ATTENTION! YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY LEARN SOMETHING!

yumyumbagel: Huh?

animefan127: _-groans-_

Ed: CLEAR! _-puts defribulator on animefan127-_

animefan127: OW! _-bolts up connecting lips with Ed's-_

_-awkward silence-_

yumyumbagel: _-Gasps- _This may not be the first time I saw you two kiss but that's not the point! _-Gasps-_

animefan127: _-breaks away and shoves Ed away; running out the door-_

Ed: ...?

yumyumbagel: Oh my god... it's dun-dun-dun! **REJECTION!**

Envy: _-not crying anymore-_ OOOOOOOH! DISSED!

yumyumbagel: You're not crying anymore?

Envy: No, but I'm sad... I feel lonely...

yumyumbagel: You can come out after Ed chases animefan127.

Ed: What! I am!

yumyumbagel: Yeah. She's your girlfriend... god, idiots these days...

Ed: _-runs out door-_

yumyumbagel: COME OUT NOW ENVY! WE'RE GONNA MAKE PANCAKES!

Envy: YIPPEE! _-starts making pancakes-_

yumyumbagel: Oh yeah, and I'm pregnant.

Envy: O.o What!

-----------two-------------blocks---------away-------

Ed: Animefan127! _-looks around-_

animefan127: _-hiding in a tree and sees Hughes walking down the street-_

Ed: _-sees Hughes and runs to him- _Hughes, did you see animefan127!

Hughes: Oh, hi Ed! Look! _-shoves photo album into Ed's face-_ This is Elicia with her giant teddy bear while she was eating cake! Isn't she just adorable! And this is Elicia when we were flying kites--

Ed: HUGHES! DID YOU SEE ANIMEFAN127!

animefan127: _-hides behind Ed making funny signs behind his back-_

Hughes: _-smiles-_ Nope. Sorry.

animefan127: _-runs behind bush as Ed turns around and begins running-_

Hughes: _-waits until Ed is gone and walks over to the bush-_ He's gone. Did you have lover's quarrel or something?

animefan127: _-pops out of the bush and gives Hughes a glare-_ No. You got the goods?

Hughes: Yeah. _-opens secret compartment in photo album and gives animefan127 a box-_

animefan127: Thanks... oh and Roy said he was going to destroy your photo album.

Hughes: O.o What! Oh my god! Not my pictures of Elic--

Scar: _-jumps out of bush down the block- _Who said God's name in vain!

_-awkward silence-_

animefan127: Um... yeah... okay... sure...

Hughes: _-sweatdrops and silently runs away-_

Scar: If your here... than fullmetal must be too. _-looks around-_

animefan127: _-gives scar death glare-_ He's not here!

Scar: _-smirks-_ I see...

animefan127: _-scowls-_ whatever...

_-starts walking down street, but scar grabs animefan127's arm-_

Scar: I think you need 'the talk'.

animefan127: _-face grows pale and eyes widen-_ Oh shit...

---back---------at----------house------------

Envy: _-on the floor and looks like havoc in the episode with warehouse thirteen but without the cigarette-_

yumyumbagel: _-sitting on couch reading book called 'Today's Random Lives'-_

Ed: _-bursts through the door-_ I can't find animefan127!

yumyumbagel: What! SHE'S NOT STICKING TO THE SCRIPT! _-throws book on the floor hitting Envy on the head; not fazing him-_

Ed: _-looks at Envy-_ You told him?

yumyumbagel: Yup.

Hughes: _-smiles and walks into room-_ Hiya! Ed, I think you and I need to have a 'man-to-man' talk. _-pulls Ed out of story-_

yumyumbagel: _-shrugs and picks up book; reading it again while Envy remains on the floor-_

---------random-------------break----------(with authoresses talking)

animefan127: I'm getting an ass cramp.

yumyumbagel: I blame mega tokyo,I got one too.

animefan127: ZOMBIES SHALL RULE THE WORLD! TOO BAD LARGO! I love mega tokyo... why are we blaming it?

yumyumbagel: Fine, BLAME CANADA! _-looks at map-_ I BLAME YOU CANADA! AND YOUR CANADIANESSESSES...

animefan127: _-sweatdrops-_ Okay then... I wonder what I should write next in the story... hmm... _-thinks-_

yumyumbagel: I didn't know I was pregnant...

animefan127: I dunno. You wrote it.

yumyumbagel: Plot device... plot device.

animefan127: Okay... hmm... should we go back to the story or go to the mall; wreaking havoc among other people?

yumyumbagel: Nah... it wouldn't be as much fun.

animefan127: Aw... I had a gas bomb...

yumyumbagel: Oh well.

-----back-------------to-----the-----------story----------

animefan127: Uh... bye. _-throws scar against a tree and bolts-_

Scar: You cannot handle the truth!

animefan127: You're wrong! Babies come from Minneapolis, not Tennesse!

yumyumbagel: _-randomly screams-_ No they don't! You know bondage!

animefan127: No.

yumyumbagel: That's where Envy told me they came from... I think it worked too.

Scar: Those whom have shared themselves with a sin shall die! _-goes hunting for yumyumbagel-_

animefan127: Uh huh... you do that. _-goes looking for a lake to drown in and, once again, isn't sticking to the script-_

----back----------at-----the---------house-------------

Envy: _-still on the ground; shocked-_

yumyumbagel: _-Thinks about what she could say to Envy to wake him up and then gets an idea- _Hey Envy,I got raped by Scar... _-Looks at Envy-_

Envy:_-Jumps up­­- _HE WHAT! _-Runs out the door leaving yumyumbagel all by herself-_

yumyumbagel: He'll be back in an hour... at the least until he realizes I lied..._-goes back to reading book-_

-------three------blocks--------away------

Ed: Where did she go... ? _-thinks of possibilities and shudders-_

animefan127: _-slurping slushie and sees Ed; beginning to choke on slushie-_ Oh_-cough-_shit! _-jumps behind tree-_

Ed: Animefan127! Where are you!

animefan127: _-sees lake in front of her-_ Eurika... _-runs towards lake-_

Ed: _-sees animefan127-_ Hey! Stop! What are you doing! _-runs after animefan127-_

animefan127: _-jumps into the freezing cold water in an attempt at suicide-_

Ed: _-gasps and jumps in after animefan127-_

-----five--------blocks---------away---------

Envy: SCAR! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, BASTARD! _-slowly realizes something- _ Hey... YUMYUMBAGEL! WHY DID YOU TRICK ME! _-runs back towards house with an unknowing Scar tailing him-_

------back----at--------house-------

yumyumbagel: _-sees Envy burst through the door as it begins raining-_ Wow, that only took you fifteen minutes.

Envy: You don't know how wrong that sounds right now, but that's not the point... you lied to me!

yumyumbagel: Jeez... this is turning into a drama series... _-rolls eyes-_

Scar: _-bursts through door, shoving Envy and stands in front of yumyumbagel-_ You have done what is unforgivable by Ishbala--

yumyumbagel: If it's about burning the holy water by accident, then I'm sorry. I thought it was regular water to boil for ramen, but I accidentaly burned it and the whole church exploded, but I'm sorry... I didn't know it was unforgivable, god...

Scar: _-yells-_ NEVER TAKE GOD'S NAME IN VAIN!

yumyumbagel: _-gets up and throws book on floor while yelling-_ Well you

know what! I had sex with a sin so don't tell me what I can and can't do! Now get out of my house!

Scar: This isn't your house.

yumyumbagel: Get out of **THIS** house!

Scar: _-warily eyes Envy who is bringing hand across throat while mouthing 'get out now or you'll be dead'-_ Very well... but I will be back. _-walks out door shutting it behind him-_

Ed: _-bursts through door ten seconds later holding animefan127 bridal style; both of them soaking wet-_

yumyumbagel: Envy? Why don't you ever carry me like that?

Envy: You never asked.

Ed: Animefan127 tried to commit suicide.

yumyumbagel: NOT STICKING TO THE SCRIPT AGAIN! GOSH!

Envy: Maybe I should try that...

Ed: You can't die.

Envy: So? It sounds fun.

Ed: _-gives Envy death glare with yumyumbagel-_ So... what can I do with animefan127? She's knocked out.

yumyumbagel: Put her in her room... she'll wake up... eventually.

Ed: _-goes into animefan127's room-_

yumyumbagel: _-starts crying-_ You don't love me, do you! _­-runs into room, slamming and locking the door-_

Envy: ... huh? What did I do wrong?

------three--------hours------------later----------

Envy: _-still sitting on the couch, reading yumyumbagel's book-_

animefan127: _-comes out of room with a half open shirt and a bra strap showing-_ Wow... yumyumbagel's crying... what did I miss?

Envy: _-looks up from book with reading glasses-_ Okay, yumyumbagel kicked Scar out of the house, I somehow made yumyumbagel cry... I'm still trying to figure out how I did, and yumyumbagel's been crying for three hours. This book is actually pretty good. _-stares at animefan127-_ What happened to you?

animefan127: Oh... you know... the usual. _-smiles-_

Ed: _-walks out of room without a shirt and wearing his boxers; hearing yumyumbagel crying-_ Envy, go fix the problem you made.

Envy: _-looks at Ed; raising his eyebrows-_ I didn't do anything! And if I did, how? And please go put on some clothes...

Ed: _-gives a sigh of frustration and goes back into animefan127's room-_

animefan127: Go kiss and make up with yumyumbagel. When I say 'make up' I don't mean 'make out' so don't get any ideas.

Envy: _-snickers-_ Why? You just were.

animefan127: _-blushes and slams Envy over the head with a frying pan-_ SHUT THE HELL UP BASTARD! _-runs into her room-_

Envy: Gosh... I 'm all alone again with blood falling down my forehead... You're paying for my glasses if they break. _-goes back to reading book while shaking his head in disappointment at being alone-_

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	3. For Thee To Blow Things up

animefan127: _-pulls gun from pocket-_ FREEZE!

yumyumbagel: What did I do this time!

animefan127: The readers are here!

yumyumbagel: Oh... never mind. Don't tell them about my secret plan.

animefan127: Okay... ?

--------chapter----------three---------------

yumyumbagel: ­_-Comes out of the room to eat and see's everyone out there looking at her- _Whaaaat? I got hungry!

animefan127: Uh... sure... _-blushes and looks away-_

Ed: Pizza's in the fridge.

Envy: _-looks up from book with reading glasses- _Yup. Put it in the microwave for two minutes, not fifty like last time.

_Flashback_

_animefan127: Who's pizza is in the microwave?_

_yumyumbagel: MINE!_

_Ed: For fifty minutes!_

_yumyumbagel: The box said to cook it for fifty minutes._

_Envy: -looks at box and face grows pale- That's the stove and it says two minutes, not fifty._

_yumyumbagel: Oh..._

_animefan127: IT'S GONNA BLOW! AAAAAAAAAH!_

_yumyumbagel: YAAAAAY! -runs in front of microwave with arms out- Hit me!_

_-the microwave explodes leaving the house, and the neighbors, covered in cheesy goodness-_

_End Flashback_

Envy: Two minutes.

yumyumbagel: I need supervision.

Ed: Fine. I'll watch you since Envy doesn't have the patience and since you're still angry at him.

yumyumbagel: Yup! _-smiles-_

animefan127: _-walks into room and locks door behind her-_

Ed: ...? Okay... into the kitchen!

yumyumbagel: YEAH!

------in---------------the------kitchen---------

_-a loud explosion is heard as the house, and the neighbors, suddenly gets cold-_

Ed: HOW THE HELL DID YOU MAKE THE FRIDGE EXPLODE!

yumyumbagel: All I did was open it! _-runs into room, locks door, and cries-_

-------in-----------------the-------------------------living-------room---------

Envy: _-keeps reading book-_ What did she do this time?

Ed: _-completely pissed-_ OPENED THE GOD DAMNED DOOR!

Scar: _-crashes through window-_ Who said God's name in vain!

yumyumbagel: _-screams from room-_ GET OUT OF THE FUCKING HOUSE!

Scar: _-bolts out the door-_

Ed: Jeez...

Roy: _-enters the room-_ Hey. Good job guys... we need to celebrate! We're gonna go get some beer!

Ed: I'm a minor.

Envy: _-shrugs-_ Whatever. _-puts glasses into the case and stands up-_ Besides, what did we do?

Roy: _-snickers-_ You got your girlfriends pregnant. _-rolls on the floor; laughing-_

Ed: ...?

Envy: I know I did. Your point being... ?

Ed: Huh? No I didn't. She took a birth control pill.

Envy: Yumyumbagel did too, but still...

yumyumbagel: Stupid! It was an April Fool's Joke!

Envy: ... What?

yumyumbagel: _-comes out of room and walks next to Envy-_ Yeah. It was April Fool's day just a few days ago. Didn't you read the calender?

Ed & Envy: No.

yumyumbagel: It was at Stop & Shop on the giant 12 foot calender! Jeez! You guys are idiots!

Ed & Envy: _-shrugs-_

Roy: So, who's up for beer!

yumyumbagel: ME!

Ed: No thanks. I'm a minor.

yumyumbagel: So am I, but who cares!

Ed: I'm going to stay and watch animefan127.

Envy: Do you mean your girlfriend who locked herself in her room for reasons unknown?

Ed: _-frowns-_ Yeah, but I'm gonna find out.

yumyumbagel: _-shrugs-_ Oh well. More booze for me. C'mon Envy!

Envy: Okay. I'll go to make sure you and Roy don't get drunk and do something you might regret.

_Flashback_

_-loud boom is heard as mushroom cloud is seen from a house window-_

_yumyumbagel: -goes to animefan127's house covered in smoke-_

_animefan127: -sighs- What did you do this time?_

_yumyumbagel: All I did was open the door to Mc Donalds._

_Envy: Next time, I'll go with you so you don't blow anything up again..._

_End Flashback_

Ed: You mean like if yumyumbagel and Roy get drunk they could--

Envy: Exactly. Blow up the whole city... and do the other 'X' rated thing.

yumyumbagel?

Roy?

Envy: Let us begone! _-shoves yumyumbagel and Roy out the door; shutting it behind them-_

Ed: Wonderful... more things to worry about...

------------------four----------------hours----------later(at the bar)----------------------

yumyumbagel: _-totally drunk and slams beer bottle onto table-_

------------at------------animefan127's-------house-------------

Ed: _-hears Envy and Roy screaming, "No!" and sees giant mushroom cloud accompanied by a loud 'boom'-_ At least it wasn't the discount liquor store two doors away from us.

_-Ed hears giant boom two doors away and hears yumyumbagel screaming, "Yay! That was fun! Let's do it again! I didn't know liquor burned like that!"-_

Ed: Make Walmart explode, why don't ya!

-At--------------------------walmart--------across----the---------street-----------

Roy & Envy: _-sitting in lawn chairs drinking beer-_

yumyumbagel: _-walks to automatic doors-_ Open Saysme! _-walmart explodes and all who inhabit it die immediately-_ YAY!

--------at---------------animefan127's---------------house--------------

Ed: Holy shit!

animefan127: _-looks out window in room-_ Wow... I never knew Walmart would burn like that...

---at---the---burnt-------remains----of-----Walmart-----------

yumyumbagel: That was fun! _-collapses-_

Envy: _-completely drunk-_ HA HA!

Roy: _-knocked out do to a piece of flying debrie smacking him in the head-_

Hughes: Wow... another child to send to the asylum...

yumyumbagel: _-wakes up-_ HAHAHA! You'll never get me alive! _-runs into animefan127's house; hiding behind Ed-_

Envy: RUN FOREST RUN! _-faints from beer intake-_

Hughes: _-smashes down door like James Bond and rolls on the ground; standing up with a random gun-_ Freeze!

yumyumbagel: You'll never... _-faints from beer intake-_

Ed: _-sweatdrops-_

animefan127: _-comes out of room; swaying drunkingly with frying pan-_ Eeeeed... you aren't **dating** yumyumbagel, are you? _-hiccups-_

Ed: Don't tell me you were drinking Vodka!

yumyumbagel: Vodka? _-wakes up-_ Vodka? _-stands up, sniffs air, and goes into animefan's room-_ VODKA! _-steals vodka and goes into own room, locking the door-_

animefan127: _-hits frying pan against palm of hand-_ Ed... you **are** dating yumyumbagel, aren't you! You're cheating on me!

Envy: I've! Returned! _-walks to yumyumbagel's room and knocks-_

yumyumbagel: Vodka!

Envy: Vodka?

yumyumbagel: _-unlocks door, Envy walks in, and shuts door behind him; locking it-_

animefan127: _-slowly starts walking towards Ed-_

Ed: _-backs away, cowering in fear-_

Hughes: Oh damn! _-slowly backs out of door and then bolts; screaming, "Elysia! Gracia! I love you!"-_

---------with-----------Roy----------------

Roy: Where am I-- _-gets knocked out by a random flying newspaper-_

------------------next--------day------------------------

animefan127: _-wakes up-_ Ugh... _-notices she's hugging Ed and bolts up; running into the kitchen-_

yumyumbagel: _-walks in with only a towel on-_ I HAVE RETURNED FROM LAST NIGHT! _-daydreams about last night-_

Ed: _-wakes up and walks into yumyumbagel's room; seeing the door wide open-_ Oh... she left the door wide open... _-walks over to door and sees Envy naked-_ AH! MY EYES! IT BURNS! YUMYUMBAGEL! ENVY'S NAKED! _-writhes on floor; blocking eyes(sorry yaoi fans)-_

yumyumbagel: That's his superpower! You should've seen him in action!

Ed: _-starts banging head on wall to get the images out-_

animefan127: _-starts choking on pizza and faints-_

Envy: I was sure good, wasn't I? _-hugs yumyumbagel-_

yumyumbagel: Yup!

Ed: PUT SOME DAMN CLOTHES ON! JESUS CHRIST!

Scar: Who said-- _-sees Envy naked-_ What the fuck!

yumyumbagel: GET OUTTA THE FUCKING HOUSE! AND STOP STARING AT ENVY! THAT'S WHAT LUST IS FOR!

Scar: _-realizes yumyumbagel is next to him- _Oh shit... _-sees yumyumbagel in towel and walks out door-_

yumyumbagel? I had a bathing suit underneath!

Ed: You did?

animefan127: _-puts coat on and slams door shut behind her-_

Ed?

yumyumbagel: Stick to the script and go chase her!

Ed: No. She probably needs to be by herself.

Envy: RUN FOREST! RUN!

Ed: _-yells-_ No!

yumyumbagel: Please?

Ed: No, and that's final. _-walks into animefan127's room-_

yumyumbagel: _-starts reading book again-_

Envy: _-reads over shoulder while feeling forgotton-_

------seven------------blocks-------away-------------

animefan127: _-strolls through streets and spots Barry-_

Barry: Hello authoress!

animefan127: Yo. Where's the liquor store? Kappy's, I mean. The one yumyumbagel didn't blow up.

Barry: Oh! You mean the one where those women come out and I chop them--

animefan127: Yes, Barry, that one. _-impatiently tapping foot-_

Barry: Around the corner.

animefan127: Thanks. _-trudges towards liquor store-_

--------------random-----------break----------(with authoresess talking)

animefan127: Talking about Naruto, do you think they would change shurikens to oatmeal cookies or something?

yumyumbagel: Dude! I'd be like, eating them! Cuz they get non stop supplies in their pockets! Didn't you notice that?

animefan127: Yeah... popcorn shurikens... _-drools-_

yumyumbagel: CHEESE DOODLE KUNAI! _-drools more than animefan127-_

animefan127: No... CAKE KUNAI!

yumyumbagel: _-gasps and goes wide eyed- _**CAKE!**

--------------------back----------to-----------------------story--------------(cheese!)

yumyumbagel: _-staring at karma sutra with envy behind her-_ Wow! I never knew people could move their body in such un-godly ways! Can you do that!

Envy: _-sweatdrops-_ I don't think so.

yumyumbagel: Try! _-tackles Envy-_

---------at------------------Kappy's------------

animefan127: _-walks into store and stares at all the different kinds of liquor-_

Lust: Hello.

animefan127: Never knew you worked at Kappy's... suprise, suprise, shock, shock. _-walks up to Lust behind desk-_

Lust: I forgot to pay the phone bill at Dante's house so I have to pay it off.

animefan127: Yeah... I went into cardiac arrest and yumyumbagel forgot to pay the phone bill so... yeah. See chapter two.

Lust: See chapter what?

animefan127: Nothing, nothing.

Lust: Where's Ed?

animefan127: Probably at home. Can I get the usual? _-puts money onto counter-_

Lust: Sure. _-grabs case of Vodka-_ Oh yeah and tell yumyumbagel I'm coming to visit today. I want to see who her new boyfriend is.

animefan127: _-stares at Lust-_ Um...okay... ?

Lust: Oh! I'm her mother! Didn't you know that?

Envy: _-screaming from distant place-_ NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Lust: Did you hear that?

animefan127: No. _-grabs case of vodka-_ Thanks anyway.

Lust: No problem.

animefan127: Oh, and do me a favor.

Lust: What?

animefan127: Work at Hot Topic, not Kappy's. Guys come here and get drunk. The first thing that will pop into their heads is rape. Bye! _-walks out door leaving a shocked Lust-_

------back------at------------the-------burnt-------walmart-----------------

animefan127: _-walks passed Roy who is still knocked out with tons of fines(tickets) for littering, destroying walmart, and parking for over five hours- _Okay... _-sees yumyumbagel walk over and pour speeding tickets on Roy from a backpack and runs back into house laughing like a maniac-_ I don't wanna know. _-decides to walk to other friend's house-_

-------at-----the-------------house--------------

Envy: Where'd you go?

yumyumbagel: I have no more speeding tickets now. _-grins-_

Hughes: _-runs into hous and grabs yumyumbagel-_ I got you now! Asylum! Here we come!

yumyumbagel: _-shrieks-_ GRACIA! HUGHES IS RAPING ME!

Gracia: _-walks next to Hughes and smacks him-_  
How **dare** you! She's just an innocent child!

Envy: Yeah... let's go with that. _-puts reading glasses on and reads book-_

yumyumbagel: Does everybody love that book or something? _-is dropped by Hughes-_ OW!

Envy: _-laughs and continues to read book-_

------at-----animefan127's-----------friends'-------house---------------

friend: Hi! Vodka?

animefan127: _-shows case-_ Hell yeah!

friend: _-invites animefan127 into house-_ By the way... Al is here.

animefan127: Oh, he is?

friend: Yeah. Al! Come here please!

Al: _-runs next to friend-_ Hi animefan127! Is my brother being a jerk again?

animefan127: _-sweatdrops-_ Uh, yeah. I brought vodka.

Al: You know that alchohol isn't good for you!

animefan127: Your point being... ?

Al: _-sighs-_ Please don't drink.

animefan127: _-gasps-_

friend: _-gasps and puts ring of beer bottles on Al's head-_ He's cursed! He said the terrible words!

-------------at-------animefan127's----------house------------------------------------

_-Gracia and Hughes have just left the building-_

Envy: _-still reading-_

yumyumbagel: I'm bored. Entertain me.

Envy: _-raises an eyebrow-_ I'm sure you still have some silly putty in your room.

yumyumbagel: No. I ate it last week when you suggested it was in my room when I asked you to entertain me. _-grins-_

Envy: _-face grows pale-_ Please don't say it.

yumyumbagel: FLASHBACK! YEAH!

Envy: _-smacks his forhead-_

_flashback_

_yumyumbagel: -whines- I'm bored! Entertain me!_

_Envy: -watching tv while Ed is in the kitchen cooking with animefan127- There's silly putty in your room. Be creative and go play with it._

_--------------three--------seconds----------------------later----------------------_

_yumyumbagel: Is silly putty poisonous?_

_Envy: -still watching tv- Yeah._

_yumyumbagel: Well... can I go to the hospital? I just ate it._

_Envy: -looks at yumyumbagel- WHY WOULD YOU EAT IT!_

_yumyumbagel: Because it looked so good and delicious._

_Ed: WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU EAT SILLY PUTTY!_

_animefan127: What? I ate it too._

_Ed: O.o What!_

_End flashback_

yumyumbagel: Entertain me!

Envy : _-gives yumyumbagel fingerpaint-_ Here. Be creative and DON'T EAT IT!

--------two-----minutes--------------later-------------------

Envy: _-sees yumyumbagel covered in finger paint-_ What happened?

yumyumbagel: I drank it.

Envy: DIDN'T I TELL YOU NOT TO EAT IT!

yumyumbagel: I didn't **eat** it! I **drank** it! It looked so good and tasty and I was really thirsty.

Envy: _-says through gritted teeth-_ There is **water** in the new fridge we got yesterday!

yumyumbagel: Okay. _-walks into kitchen leaving a trail of paint-_

Envy: _-realizes what he just said-_ WAIT! YUMYUMBAGEL! DON'T OPEN--

_-loud explosion is heard as yumyumbagel opens door to new and highly expensive fridge leaving the neighbors and everybody in the house with a cold draft-_

yumyumbagel: It's snowing!

Envy: _-throws book onto the ground, grabs coat, and slams door behind him; taking glasses off-_

yumyumbagel: Oh well. _-rolls on food on the floor that came out of the fridge; leaving paint trails all over it-_

-----------at-------animefan127's----------friends'-----------house------------

Al: _-covered with beer scented clothing, ring of beer bottles on head, holding a budlight coaster with a vodka bottle in the other hand- _Um... you guys? I don't want you to drink.

Friend & animefan127: _-pouring vodka on Al while chanting-_

----------meanwhile-------------------------

Roy: Ugh... _-looks at a bill he's covered with-_ Speeding ticket? Yumyumbagel? What the hell!

Barry: _-looks at bills, grabs one and chops it-_ Fun! Can I have these?

Roy: Well--

Barry: Thanks! _-takes all bills and runs away-_

Roy: _-sweatdrops-_ Boy that was awkward. _-here's gunshot and, trembling, turns to see one, angry Riza Hawkeye-_

---------at------------animefan127's----------house---------------

yumyumbagel: WEEEEEEE! _-still rolling in crap-_

---------fifteen-------------blocks----------------away-------------

Envy: GOD DAMMIT! WHAT'S WITH THESE LONG LINES! _-looks at gas station door and sees random paper saying, "yumyumbagel was here"-_ Oh shit...

_-sees line extends back to house-_ Holy shit! I'M NOT WAITING THAT LONG FOR A FRICKIN' STICK OF GUM! I'M OUTTA HERE! _-walks to the movie theater to see if the line is long there-_

-------at----------animefan127's--------friends'----------house-------------

animefan127: Now that the ritual is done, we shall drink!

Al: _-sways drunkingly-_ Yeah!

Friend: Hell yeah!

_-all of them drink and fall over from drink intake-_

-----at------animefan127's--------house----------------

yumyumbagel: What a workout! _-still rolling in crap-_

Ed: _-sleeping- on animefan127's bed-_

------meanwhile------at-------Central-------HQ-----------

Roy: But--

Riza: YOU SKIPPED A WHOLE DAY OF WORK!

Roy: I know, but-------

Riza: YOU LET THE PERSON WHO BLEW UP WALMART GET AWAY!

Roy: I see, but--

Riza: AND YOU WERE DRINKING THE NIGHT AWAY AT A BAR! **WITH THE SERIAL BLOWER-UPPER!**

Roy: _-silent-_

Riza: NOW YOUR ENTIRE OFFICE IS FILLED WITH PAPERWORK!

Roy: NOOOOOOOOOO--

Riza: YES! IT'S YOUR FAULT! _-walks away leaving a shocked and scared colonel-_

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	4. Jelly Doughnuts

animefan127: We're back in black. _-wearing black trench coat with shades-_

yumyumbagel: WAIT!!! ACT NATURAL!!! _-acts like cow-_

animefan127: I'm **still** trying to figure out whether you came from Pluto or Mars.

yumyumbagel: Pluto!! I like Pluto... you remember? You were there, Ed was there, oh yeah... good times, good times... let's save that story for another time!

animefan127: Onto the story.

yumyumbagel: POPCORN!!!! No... wait... CHEESE DOODLES!!!

-------------in--------------the---------story---------------(pizza!!!)

yumyumbagel: Still rolling!! Go to the next scene!! _-still rolling in crap with paint covering walls-_

-----at----------Central----------HQ-----------

Roy: _-opens door to office and paper avalanche knocks him out-_

------at-----------theater-----------

Envy: _-sees line extends all the way to Central-_ SCREW THIS SHIT!!! _-trudges home(or whatever he calls 'home')-_

yumyumbagel: _-stops rolling(for once)-_ Hi Envy!! I'm dirty!! I need a bath!!

Envy: Can you just take one by yourself?

yumyumbagel: No. Remember what happened last time?

Envy: Don't--

yumyumbagel: FLASHBACK!!! HELL YEAH!!!

Envy: _-groans in annoyance-_

_Flashback_

_Envy: Go take a bath yumyumbagel!! You're covered in mud!!_

_yumyumbagel: -covered in mud- But I was playing with the piggy!! And the moose... -drools-_

_Envy: BATH!!! NOW!!!_

_yumyumbagel: Yes **father**. -walks to bathroom-_

_-----five-------minutes-------------later----------------_

_yumyumbagel: -screams from bathroom- The water's boiling and the ducky wants to eat me!!_

_Envy: -rolls eyes and ignores; reading on couch in the living room with reading glasses-_

_yumyumbagel: -screams again- It's got a knife!!_

_Envy: -ignores-_

_yumyumbagel: Holy crap!! It's got a philosopher's stone!! It's gonna kill me!! It even said it!!_

_Envy: -sighs, stands up, puts reading glasses into case, and walks into bathroom; seeing regular rubber ducky on the far side of the bath tub-_ _How is it gonna kill you? It doesn't have a knife._

_yumyumbagel: Oh... it must have been my imaginatio-- -touches ducky making it go splody- It exploded!! Cool!! -touches bath tub making it explode-_

_Envy: -soaked from bath tub water with bubbles in hair- I'm never leaving you alone in the bath tub again..._

_End flashback_

yumyumbagel: Onto the tub!! _-drags Envy with her into the bathroom while Envy says, "Somebody help me..."-_

-------------at------animefan127's-------friends'------house-----------

animefan127: Did you hear that random explosion?

Friend: No.

Al: How did you get me drunk?! I'm **armor!!!**

animefan127: Skill and the ritual. Remember that.

Friend: Can I keep the vodka?

animefan127: Sure, but you have to pay me back this time.

Friend: _-waves hand nonchalantly-_ Don't worry about it. I will.

animefan127: You know, "I will" is a song.

Friend: Your point?

animefan127: _-shakes head-_ Never mind. Bye! _-leaves house and goes to Dunkin' Donuts-_

---------------------at------------animefan127's----------bathroom-------------

Envy: _-sitting on bath tub side; watching yumyumbagel to make sure nothing happens(like her drowning or something)-_

yumyumbagel: _-playing with rubber ducky and bubbles-_

Envy: _-twitches as bubble floats into his hair-_ Are you done yet?

yumyumbagel: No. _-plays with ducky even more-_ I'm not clean yet. _-keeps playing with ducky-_

Envy: WHAT DOES A RUBBER DUCKY HAVE TO DO WITH CLEANING?!?!

yumyumbagel: _-holds ducky up to Envy's face making quacking noises-_ It likes you.

Envy: _-walks out for three seconds-_

yumyumbagel: I'M DROWNING!!! I CAN'T SWIM!!!

Envy: _-sighs and walks back in to see yumyumbagel playing with ducky-_ You're fine. _-turns partially and sees yumyumbagel starting to drown-_ You're as helpless as a baby.

yumyumbagel: But I'm your baby. _-gets out of tub and hugs Envy-_

Envy: _-gets nosebleed and faints from the fact of yumyumbagel hugging him **while** she's naked-_

yumyumbagel: _-gets back into tub; playing with ducky and bubbles-_

------with-----------animefan127----------------------

Dunkin' Donuts Clerk: Will that be all?

animefan127: Yes.

Dunkin' Donuts Clerk: Please drive up to the second window.

animefan127: I'm in the building, jackass.

Dunkin' Donuts Clerk: Well sooooooooooorry! Here are your twenty five jelly doughnuts. Enjoy your day.

animefan127: _-mutters under breath- _And I hope you die in a corner painfully... yes... painfully so I can enjoy watching you suffer. _-realizes something-_ Didn't that sound like Envy? Scary... _-shudders and walks out of Dunkin' Donuts; heading for home-_

--------------at------------Central-------------HQ-------------

Roy: _-still knocked out from paper avalanche-_

Havoc: _-video taping Roy like an idiot-_

-------------------at-----------animefan127's------------house---------------

Ed: _-still sleeping on animefan127's bed-_

yumyumbagel: WHY DID YOU FAINT?! _-gets outta tub and shakes him-_

Envy: _-wakes up-_ Huh? _-comes to focus, has another nose bleed, and faints from massive blood loss-_

yumyumbagel: WHY?!?!?!

animefan127: _-finally comes through door-_ Hey. _-sees paint on walls, smushed food on the ground, the kitchen destroyed, and Envy lying unconscious in the bathroom, in puddles of blood, with yumyumbagel crying and holding Envy-_

yumyumbagel: He fainted!

animefan127: I'm never leaving you home alone ever again.

Ed: _-walks outta the room and sees the new fridge is busted-_ WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?! _-sees spilled milk, shudders, and backs away, slowly, into animefan127's room-_

animefan127: You're wearing a towel, right?

yumyumbagel: Yeah. My ducky got stuck in the fan though.

animefan127: _-looks at bathroom fan and sees a decapitated rubber duck stuck in it-_ Okay... I'll go to Walgreens later and buy you another one.

yumyumbagel: You can't. I blew it up.

animefan127: When?

yumyumbagel: Last night. YAY!!! RUBBER DUCKIES BURNED!!!

animefan127: _-sweat drops-_ I'll find you another one... somewhere... in the cold cruel world...

yumyumbagel: YAY!! COLD CRUEL WORLD!!! _-hugs globe in the living room-_

---------------six--------hours----------------------later------------------------------------

yumyumbagel: _-still hugging globe-_

animefan127: _-cleaning mess-_ Will you stop hugging that thing?! HELP CLEAN THE MESS YOU MADE!!!

yumyumbagel: But then it'll be even more of a mess! Remember last time?

animefan127: NO FLASHBACKS!!!

yumyumbagel: Okay... _-looks at table and sees doughnuts-_ DOUGHNUTS!!! _-stops hugging globe and starts eating doughnuts-_

animefan127: NOOO!!! STOP!!! _-takes doughnuts away from yumyumbagel-_

yumyumbagel: I wanted the consolation prize!

animefan127: Consolation prize?

yumyumbagel: Yeah. The box.

animefan127: You can have it later.

yumyumbagel: I'LL MAKE A FORT OUT OF IT AND IT'LL BE PILLOWS AND BLANKETS AND LIKE DONUTS AND A BOX--

Ed: I think you've had too much sugar. Go to sleep.

yumyumbagel: Okay! _-falls on floor fast asleep-_

Ed: _-looks at Envy; unconscious and bleeding(still)-_ Okay then. You got jelly doughnuts?

animefan127: Yup. They're the philosopher's stone.

Ed: O.o

animefan127: ... YOU CANNOT HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!

yumyumbagel: _-twitches-_ Truth! _-falls asleep again-_

Ed: The... philosopher's stone... ?

animefan127: Need proof? Here it is!! _-Al walks in, but he's human-_

Ed: AL!!!

Al: I ate a doughnut.

animefan127: I will never understand how armor ate a doughnut, but oh well! That's not the point!!

Ed: _-shocked-_ YOUR HUMAN!!

Al: Yeah. I know. You need to get your limbs back.

Ed: Okay! Where are those doughnuts? _-sees animefan127 eating them all-_ NOOO!! THE PHILOSOPHER'S STONE!!!!

yumyumbagel: DOUGHNUTS!!! _-gets up and eats them; leaving only two which animefan127 grabs-_

animefan127: Here you go, Ed. _-hands him donuts-_

Ed: _-eats donuts and gets his limbs back- _I don't believe it...

animefan127: _-pinches Ed's right arm-_

Ed: OW!!

animefan127: Do you believe it now?

Envy: _-wakes up-_ What did I miss... ?

animefan127: YAY!! AL'S HUMAN AND ED GOT HIS LIMBS BACK!!! W00T!!!

Envy: _-sees yumyumbagel in a towel and blushes-_ PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!!!

yumyumbagel: Okie dokie!!! _-walks into room and gets changed-_

animefan127: Bye Al!!

Al: What?!

animefan127: Get outta the house!!(sorry Al fangirls)

Al: Fine... I'll just go to your Friend's house. _-leaves while Ed obsesses over getting his arm and leg back-_

Envy: Jelly doughnuts... who would've thought...

animefan127: You know... that means they killed people and turned them into jelly donuts.

yumyumbagel: _-comes out of room in a bikini-_ Oh that sounds awesome! Can we go there sometime Envy?

Envy: Um... why are you in a bikini?

yumyumbagel: I am? _-looks at animefan127-_ You did this!!!

animefan127: I did? How?

yumyumbagel: You typed it!!

animefan127: _-shrugs- _Too bad, so sad, you lose.

-----random------------break-----------(with authoresses talking)

yumyumbagel: Can I type?

animefan127: As long as you don't type any of **that** stuff going through your head right now.

yumyumbagel: Never mind then.

animefan127: _-looks at yumyumbagel in disgust-_ I wasn't serious! How could you even **think** like that?!

yumyumbagel: _-is fantasizing Envy- _Easy. He's my smexy palm tree!

animefan127: Well, you will have alot of fangirls after you. I will as well... T-T

yumyumbagel: I'll burn them and barbeque them and---

animefan127: Okay, I get it.

---------------back-----------to---------story----------(popsicles!!)

Roy: _-wakes up-_ What happened? _-gets hit over the head with a baseball bat by Havoc and is knocked out-_

Havoc: I'll win America's Funniest Homevideos!!

--------at-------animefan127's-------------house--------------

yumyumbagel: I don't mind. _-looks at bikini with palm trees that she is wearing-_

Envy: _-stares at yumyumbagel's chest-_

yumyumbagel: _-oblivious to everything- _Oh! I dropped my pencil!

animefan127: Oh gosh...

yumyumbagel: _-bends over to pick up pencil-_

Envy: Me likey... _-stares with wide eyes while yumyumbagel bends over in front of him-_

Ed: _-temple throbs-_ ENVY!! YOU'RE SICK!!

yumyumbagel: _-gasps-_ My book!! _-bends over again to pick up book, "Random Lives Of Today vol. 2"-_

Envy: _-gets a nose bleed as yumyumbagel bends down again-_

Ed: _-punches Envy-_ BASTARD!!

yumyumbagel: Don't punch Envy!! _-hugs Envy making him pass out-_ Oops... _-drops him on the floor and begins reading book-_

_**WARNING!! SPOILERS AHEAD!!**_

animefan127: Hmm... didn't Hughes die in the series?

yumyumbagel: Yeah!! Hughes die!!

--------two---------blocks---------away-------------

Hughes: _- trips on rock and drops dead on the sidewalk-_

_-------_at---------animefan127's----------------house------------

yumyumbagel: Oops... did I say the wrong thing?

animefan127: T-T Yes...

yumyumbagel: _-goes back to reading book-_

animefan127: _-gasps-_ Scar died too!!

yumyumbagel: Scar!! Die!!

-----------somewhere------in-----------Ishbal-------------

Scar: _-chokes on rice and drops dead-_

-----------back-----------at-----------animefan127's---------house------------------

yumyumbagel: Oops! I did it again, huh?

animefan127: T-T Yes...

Lust: _-comes through door-_ Hello.

yumyumbagel: MOMMY!! _-hugs Lust-_

animefan127: _-gasps-_ WAIT!!! _-points to Lust- _

Lust: What?

animefan127: You died too!!

yumyumbagel: Oh yeah!! Lust!! Die!!

Lust: _-heart stops(she had one?) and drops dead-_

animefan127: You're killing everyone, aren't you?

yumyumbagel: No. You're just reminding me to kill them.

Ed: Wha?!

animefan127: Marta died too, right?

yumyumbagel: YEAH!! MARTA!! DIE!!!

---Somewhere------------in----------desert--------------

Marta: _-bit by rattlesnake and dies-_

---------at-----------animefan127's----------house--------------

animefan127: Wait! There's one more person... well actually, more than one, but that's not the point! PRIDE DIED!!!

yumyumbagel: PRIDE!! DIE!!

------at-----------Central-----------HQ------------

Pride: _-drinking tea, chokes on it, and dies-_

-----at----------animefan127's------------house-----------------

**SPOILERS HAVE ENDED... FOR NOW... MUAHAHAHA!! **

Envy: _-wakes up-_ What happened... ?

yumyumbagel: Oh, I just killed alot of people.

Envy: O.o WTF?!?!

Ed: Animefan127 just listed some people who died in the series and yumyumbagel just killed them.

Envy: Aw! I missed all the fun!!

Ed: Your damn fault for being so perverted.

yumyumbagel: He was?!

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	5. Mission: Gum

**WE INTERRUPT THIS CHAPTER TO BRING YOU A DIFFERENT AND RANDOM STORY!!!**

_-Somewhere on Pluto-_

yumyumbagel: I'm bored!!

animefan127: Okay...

Alien: Meep!!

yumyumbagel: _-gasps-_ Where's my zappy ray thingy?!

animefan127: I dunno.

Envy: I think Ed has it.

Ed: _-zapping random aliens with ray gun-_

yumyumbagel: Gimmee my zappy ray thingy!!

Ed: No!!

yumyumbagel: Fine. Then I'll use my, dum, dum, DUM!! SHRINKY RAY THINGY!! _-pulls shrink gun from pocket-_

Ed, Envy, & animefan127: NOOOOOOO!!!!

yumyumbagel: _-uses gun and planet shrinks-_

animefan127: _-rolls eyes- _Great...

yumyumbagel: I know!!

Ed: _-zapps shrunken aliens with ray gun-_

Envy: _-snicker- _Well, Ed's taller than **someone** at least...

Ed: _-vein pops out-_ WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT A GRAIN OF SAND COULD CRUSH ME?!?!

animefan127: So... where's the rocket ship?

yumyumbagel: _-picks up tiny rocket ship-_ Right here.

animefan127 & Ed: O.o

Envy: _-stares at stars-_

animefan127: How are we gonna go to Earth for vacation?!

Ed: Guess we'll have to use shooting stars.

animefan127: _-grabs a shooting star and is flown to Earth-_

yumyumbagel: YAY!!! I'LL BE LIKE KIRBY!!! _-grabs a shooting star with Ed and Envy and flies to Earth-_

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is why Pluto isn't considered a planet anymore. It's a dwarf planet. XD

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

**WE ARE NOW RETURNING YOU TO YOUR ORIGINAL FANFICTION!! THANK YOU!!**

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

yumyumbagel: We are at my house this time typing this! WOOT! I Control the computer this time!

animefan127: Yeah... you do that... _-ignores-_

yumyumbagel: I feel so loved..._-rolls eyes-_

animefan127: _-drinks coke-_

yumyumbagel: God..I want some coke! _-gets up and gets coke-_

animefan127: And yumyumbagel has left the cave of doom... I feel so alone... with coke...

yumyumbagel: I have returned with...COKE!!!I _-drinks coke in unision with animefan127-_

**WARNING!! THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN WRITTEN WHEN THE AUTHORESSES WERE HIGH ON COKE... ACOLA... YEAH...**

---------Chapter------------------five-----------------------(lollipop!)-------------------------

animefan127: _-yawns-_ I'm soooooooooooooooooo bored... I think I'll... hmm... no... wait! Maybe-- no... Then again-- no... I'm gonna grab a coke from the kitchen.

Ed: The fridge is busted.

animefan127: Why?

Ed: yumyumbagel--

yumyumbagel: _-smiles-_ I blew it up! Again!

animefan127: _-sighs-_ Oh yeah... joy...

yumyumbagel: And I was rolling around in crap!! Wait a minute... I wanna do it again, but we don't have any crap...

animefan127: I'm gonna take a walk... oh wait... I can't.

yumyumbagel: Why?

animefan127: Because in the last chapter I said I would "never leave you home alone ever again" God I hate me...

yumyumbagel: But Envy is here too! He can watch me so I don't drown again in the tub...

Envy: I am sooo not watching you again.

animefan127: Envy isn't capable... nor is Ed...

Ed: Hey!! What's that supposed to mean?!

animefan127: It means I love you. Anyways, I'm probably the only one who can watch her.

Ed & Envy: What's that supposed to mean?!

yumyumbagel: _-breathes and chokes on air-_

animefan127: See? _-walks over to yumyumbagel and smacks her on the head-_ Breathe you idiot!!

yumyumbagel: _-forgets how to breathe-_

animefan127: _-gasps-_ Oh my god! Envy said he would break up with you if you don't breathe and stay alive!!

yumyumbagel: _-remembers how to breathe-_ I'm okay!!

animefan127: You never were.

Ed: _-sighs-_ You actually made an observation that was true.

animefan127: What's that supposed to mean?!

Ed: Nothing.

-------------In----------------------------------Central-----------------------------------

Roy: _-wakes up- _Ugh... where am I...?

Havoc: In Calafornia.

Roy: What?! Where's 'Calafornia'?

Havoc: In your dreams. _-knocks out Roy with a fan-_

-------------at--------------------------animefan127's--------------house------------------

animefan127: _-finishes her last bottle of vodka-_

yumyumbagel: _-finishes her 8th bottle of vodka-_

animefan127: _-wobbles over to Ed-_ Heeeeey!!

Ed: _-blinks-_

animefan127: Why were yoooooou insulting me?!?! Earlier?!

Ed: Well--

animefan127: Well nothing!! It's **OVER!!!** _-walks out door and slams it shut behind-_

_-silence for five seconds while Ed is in shock-_

yumyumbagel: Dude_ -looks at Ed-_ YOU JUST GOT SERVED!­_ -falls asleep-_

Envy: For once she is right. IT'S A SIGN OF THE APOCOLYPSE!!! TO THE BUNKER!!!!!!!

-----------------------five-------blocks----------away----------------------------------

animefan127: Erg... I'm hungry... _-sees bar- _That'll do.

_-animefan127 walks into bar and sees Wrath with Izumi-_

Wrath: _-sees animefan127-_ Hey!! What's up?

animefan127: The sky.

Izumi: _-sighs-_ She's drunk.

animefan127: Hey!! There's nothing wrong... with... that... _-falls on the floor unconcience-_

Izumi: Well... there goes another one.

Wrath: _-sighs-_ I'll never understand why some humans just can't handle their liquor...

----------------------at--------------------------animefan127's-------------------house-----------------

yumyumbagel: _-Wakes up and sees Envy reading 'Random Lives of Today volume 3' and Ed still in shock- _Hey Envy?

Envy: Yeah?_ -looks up from book through reading glasses-_

yumyumbagel: Why does everyone love my books? Also---WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE! WHY ARE YOU GOING THROUGH MY ROOM LOOKING FOR THEM!? YOU KNOW I HAVE STUFF IN THERE THAT NO HUMAN OR...THING OTHER THAN YOU OR ME SHOULD SEE!

Ed: ...

Envy: Looks like the shrimp's in a state of shock.

Ed: ...

Envy: _-gasps-_ THE WORLD'S GONNA END!! ED DIDN'T SPAZZ OUT!!!

yumyumbagel: STOP TRYING TO AVOID THE GOD DAMN QUESTION!!!

Envy: Okay... sheesh... I was looking through your dresser drawers for a... **frickin' stick of gum!!!** But I found some other stuff that I shall not say out loud... and I found this book!

yumyumbagel: Oh... I'm going out.

Envy: I will accompany you!

yumyumbagel: Weeeeeeell... naw. Stay here. I shall go on a dum, dum, DUM!!! MISSION!! _-bolts out the door-_

Envy: ...? Oh gosh... what'll happen now?

_-hears far off explosion-_

Envy: ...

Ed: ...

Envy: ... Don't worry Ed... I feel your pain...

-----------at----------------Izumi's----------------house-------------

animefan127: _-awakens-_ Ow... _-feels head and feels bandage-_

Wrath: _-jumps down from chandelier; landing in front of animefan127- _Hi!!

animefan127: _-screams-_ DON'T SCARE ME LIKE THAT!!!!

Wrath: Sorry... anyways, you slammed your head on a stool before you hit the ground.

animefan127: Joy.

Wrath: You bled alot...

animefan127: _-scoffs-_ As if I could lose anymore brain cells...

Izumi: _-walks into room-_ Hey, are you okay?

animefan127: I can't stand. Is that good?

Izumi: Uh... no.

animefan127: Aww... shit...

Izumi: You might have to stay here for a while...

Wrath: YEAH!!! ANOTHER MOUS--- ER... FRIEND TO PLAY WITH!!! YEAH!!!

animefan127: Oh man... this sucks...

----------at--------------------gas---------------station----------------------

yumyumbagel: _-waiting in line-_ Geez... long line... hmm... I'll blow people up.

_-yumyumbagel touches the person in front of her and he blows up into little pieces-  
_

yumyumbagel: Well... it'll be easier to steal the gum... it'll save the blowing up stuff power for later... muahahaha... evil plans... that's so badass... I'M BADASS!!!

Person in front of yumyumbagel: _-turns-_ Ssssh!! You'll scare the store clerk away!!

yumyumbagel: Oops! Sorry 'bout that... _-slowly walks to front of line, grabs stick of gum, and runs-_

Police Officer: _-sees yumyumbagel run with gum-_ Hey!! Get back here!! _-grabs radio-_ We have a situation!! Repeat, we have a situation!! We need tanks, helicopters, and doughnuts... yes... lot's of doughnuts... we have a theif on the loose!!

----------at--------------------animefan127's----------------house--------------------

Ed: ...She should've been back by now...

Envy: _-gives a sigh of frustration-_ Shut up!! You've been moping around for the past... wait... _-looks at watch-_ I just realized something...

Ed: What...?

Envy: I don't have a watch... -_looks at wall- _Or clocks. We don't have TIME!!!

yumyumbagel: _-runs to door-_ That's so BADASS!!! MISSION IS COMPLETE!!! _-throws Envy a stick of gum-_

_-Suddenly, a mob of police officers tackle yumyumbagel to the ground-_

Envy: _-dives for stick of gum-_

Police Officers: NO!!!

Envy: _-sees grenade land in front of him-_ OH SHI---

_-house explodes-_

yumyumbagel: _-coughs black smoke-_ That was my job... _-gets angry-_ I'M GONNA KILL YOU ALL, POLICE PEOPLES!!!

Police Officer #1: Oh crap... BACKUP!!! WHERE'S THE BACKUP?!

Police Officer #2: We don't have backup!! We just had walkie talkies for the fun of it!!

Police Officer #3: Doughnut walkie talkies. _-smiles and eats walkie talkie-_

Poilce Officer #1: Oh shit... WE'RE DOOMED!!!

yumyumbagel: _-blows up officers-_

--------------------at-------------------------Central---------------------------

Havoc: _-answers ringing cell phone-_ Hello? What do you mean there's a report of someone blowing up officers?! Oh... it's yumyumbagel. Never mind and just leave her alone if you value your life. _-hangs up-_ Hmm... _-grabs red sharpie and draws a moustache on Roy-_ Hey... it makes him look better!!

--------------------------random--------------------break--------(with authoresses talking)-------------

yumyumbagel: We are now writing this on the phone!!! YAY!!!

animefan127: Yeah... before we go destroy more stuff.

yumyumbagel: My new backround so kicks ass!!

animefan127: Yeah... okay... mine too.

yumyumbagel: I don't give two shits. My backround kicks ass. Literally.

animefan127: Whatever...

------Back-----------------To---------------the-----story-----------------------(cheese doodle!)-------------

animefan127:_-shrieks when she sees the remains of her home-_ MY HOUSE!!!!

yumyumbagel: IT WAS THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE THE GUM!!!

animefan127: _-starts crying-_

yumyumbagel: _-starts crying too-_ Shoot me now... I KILLED THE GUM!!!

Envy: _-walks out of the rubble, burnt and bruised, chewing gum-_

yumyumbagel: IT'S ALIVE!!!

Ed: _-speechless-_

animefan127: My house... my house...

yumyumbagel: Wait... what are YOU doing here?! _-points to animefan127-_

animefan127: Izumi let me come... and now... MY HOUSE IS DESTROYED!!!! _-bursts into another fit of tears-_

Ed: _-pats animefan127's shoulder-_ Calm down... we'll get it remodeled.

animefan127: _-becomes angry at Ed being so calm-_ WITH WHAT MONEY?! I'M BROKE!! I'M USING THE MONEY IN MY BANK ACCOUNT FOR TUITION AT SCHOOL!!!

yumyumbagel: _-gasps-_ You're broke?! We need a doctor!!!

Ed: She's not broken, she just doesn't have any money.

Envy: _-smiles-_ I got gum!

animefan127: My life... is ruined...

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	6. The New Person

animefan127: WE HAVE A NEW AUTHORESS JOINING US TODAY!!

yumyumbagel: _-in kimono doing fan dance-_

animefan127: The new authoress is... _-shows sillouette-_

_-drum roll-_

yumyumbagel: YAY!!!!!!! _-hugs sillouette-_

Sillouette: GET THE FUCK OFF ME, YOU FUCKING WHORE...GO FUCK ENVY!

yumyumbagel: _-walks off to find Envy-_

Envy: What do you want now?

yumyumbagel: OH MY GOD DO ME NOW!!!!

Sillouette: _-screaming off stage- _OH MY FUCKING GOD, I DIDN'T MEAN IT!

animefan127: Ummm... Ms. Sillouette... she does that of her own free will.

Sillouette: MY NAME IS NOT MS. SILLOUETTE!!!! IT'S Blackribbon5 HAH! SO THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!

animefan127: ...yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaah... I knew that...

Ed?

animefan127: SILENCE NON-BELIEVER!!!

Envy: _-knocks out yumyumbagel and drags her away to a place we no not of-_

animefan127: _-gasps-_ Me and sillo-- I mean... Blackribbon5 and I are alone to write the fanfiction?!

Blackribbon5: Right... fanfiction... ROY!! _-runs to Central HQ in search of her victim, Roy Mustang-_

animefan127: Right... you get Roy... ED!! _-glomps Ed-_

Ed: WTF?!

animefan127: _-grins-_ You are sooooo cute when you are mad!!

-----at-------Central----HQ------------------

Blackribbon5: ROY!! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?! YOU BETTER NOT BE WITH RIZA!!! AGAIN!!!

Roy: _-blearily wakes up-_ Huh... ? Riza?

Havoc: Oh shit! _-runs away with video camera-_

Riza: What seems to be the trouble, sir?

Blackribbon5: _-turns corner and sees Riza helping Roy out of paper pile-_ YOU WERE WITH RIZA!! YOU BITCH!!! _-grabs Riza and starts endlessly punching her-_

Roy: _-wide eyes-_ WTF?! Hey!!! Stop!! _-pulls blackribbon5 and Riza apart-_

Blackribbon5: I'M GONNA KILL YOU, YOU FILTHY WHORE!!!

Riza: _-grabs gun-_ Wanna bet?!

Roy: Settle down!!

Blackribbon5: _-turns to Roy-_ YOU JUST LIKE IT BECAUSE WE'RE FIGHTING OVER YOU!!! _-vanishes and reappears behind Riza-_

Riza: Shit!! _-tries to turn and shoot blackribbon5, but misses miserably-_

--------------at-------the------remains-------of-----------animefan127's-----------house----------

animefan127: _-staring at ruins miserably-_

yumyumbagel: I love this place.

animefan127: Why are **you** here?

yumyumbagel: Cause I wanted to come back from the... unknown place.

animefan127: ...Okaaaaaaaaaaay... you're paying for my house.

yumyumbagel: Why?! I didn't do anything!!!

animefan127: But you were the **cause** of the result.

yumyumbagel: ... I'm confuzzled...

animefan127: You're paying for my house because the reason it exploded was because you stole the gum.

yumyumbagel: But the gum made me do it!

animefan127: What? I don't get it...

yumyumbagel: Not many people will.

Ed?

Envy: WHY DID YOU LEAVE?!?! _-stomps up to yumyumbagel-_

yumyumbagel: Cause my rubber ducky's head is here and it needs a proper burial.

animefan127: Then go get it! _-shoves yumyumbagel into house's remains-_

yumyumbagel: OH MY GOD!!

Ed: What now?

yumyumbagel: I FOUND A STICK OF GUM!!!

animefan127: The one you searched so hard for?

yumyumbagel: Yes!

Ed: Where was it?

yumyumbagel: In a TACO!!! _-eats taco-_

Envy: I should've known!!

animefan127: Hey... is that Scar... ?

_-everybody looks to see Scar pillaging through house remains-_

yumyumbagel: Hey Scar!! Up high!! _-holds hand in the air-_

Scar: No.

yumyumbagel: Please?

Scar: No.

yumyumbagel: Please?!

Scar: No!

yumyumbagel: PLEASE?!

Scar: _-geting pissed-_ NO!!!

yumyumbagel: YES!!

Scar: Fine. _-high five's yumyumbagel-_

yumyumbagel: Cancer. _-runs away laughing maniacally-_

Scar: _-stares at his hand-_ ... Cancer... ? I'm gonna die?

_-Everybody sees the tv(which survived the explosion) flicker on and off with the picture of a stone well and a little girl with long black hair come out of the tv; walking up to Scar-_

Samara: Seven... days... _-vanishes and the tv explodes when yumyumbagel looks at it-_

Scar: I'M GONNA DIE IN SEVEN DAYS?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!_ -runs away crying-_

animefan127: MY TV!!!!

Ed: _-looks at yumyumbagel-_ You have a new superpower?

yumyumbagel: I do?

Ed: You just looked at the tv and it exploded!!!

animefan127: My... tv... why my tv... why... ?

yumyumbagel: You know what? We need a house. _-snaps fingers-_

_-house rises from it's burnt grave and returns to normal-_

animefan127 & Ed: O.O

Envy: _-walks into house and sees crap covered floor-_ OH MY GOD!!

yumyumbagel: What? _-looks at the floor- _IT'S THE FRICKIN' TRINITY!!! _-rolls in crap-_

animefan127 & Ed: O.O

Envy: Hey!! I found "Today's Random Lives" Volume 4!!"

animefan127: _-snaps out of shock-_ Huh?

Ed: _-glares at yumyumbagel-_ HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!

yumyumbagel: Simple.

animefan127: ...Go on...

yumyumbagel: Well I realized that if I put my foot on the floor, and have a dolphin in my hand, I would realize that the meaning to life was to snap your fingers and all of a sudden, my foot was named Bob!!

--------three------------hours-----------------later-----------------

yumyumbagel: And that's how I saved the world from mutant tacos!! _-nodds head triumphantly-_

animefan127: _-snoring-_

Ed: _-wakes up-_ Huh? Are you done yet?

Envy: _-scribbling little doodles-_

yumyumbagel: _-takes a deep breath-_

Ed: _-clamps hand over yumyumbagel's mouth-_ Don't bother.

yumyumbagel: MMmmmm?! _-flailing arms around-_

Envy: _-looks up from doodles-_ Huh? What's going on-

yumyumbagel: _-face turning blue-_

Ed?

Envy: What's happening?!

animefan127: _-snores-_

Envy: WE NEED ANIMEFAN127!!!

yumyumbagel: _-face is turning purple-_

Envy: Um!! Um!! UM!!! _-takes 'Random Lives of Today' vol. 4 and throws it at animefan127's head-_

animefan127: OW!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM!!!

Envy: SHE'S NOT BREATHING!!! _-points to yumyumbagel-_

animefan127: _-sighs and walks over to yumyumbagel; pulls Ed's hand away from yumyumbagel's mouth-_ Geez you guys... you can't even take care of her for three seconds!

yumyumbagel: _-takes a deep breath-_ Man... I thought I was gonna die! I was trying to say that I was thirsty!

Ed: Oh.

Envy: ...

animefan127: _-goes into kitchen, grabs a water bottle, and returns to the living room-_ Here.

yumyumbagel: _-drinks half of it and starts choking-_

animefan127: Are we having one of those 'choking apedemics' again?

yumyumbagel: _-nodds head while choking-_

animefan127: _-gets a fog horn-_ WELL STOP BECAUSE IT'S GETTING ANNOYING AND YOU ARE TEARING ME APART!!!!

Envy & Ed: WTF?!

yumyumbagel: _-stops choking-_ I forgot how to swallow.

Envy: That sounds so wrong.

yumyumbagel: And? You tell me to do that all the time.

Envy: _-blushes and returns to the doodles-_

Ed: _-disgusted-_ That's... nice to know...

animefan127: _-sleeping again-_

yumyumbagel: Ed, since you are a scientist, can you answer this question?

Ed: Huh? I dunno... maybe... ?

yumyumbagel: If fruit loops are gay cheerios, then what are fruity pebbles?

Ed & Envy: Gay rocks

yumyumbagel: Oh I always wondered what it was..._-walks into her room and shuts the door-_

Ed?

Envy: Why did she go to her room? _-looks up from doodles-_

Ed: No idea.

animefan127: _-snores-_

Ed & Envy: _-sweatdrop-_

Envy: Hey Ed...

Ed: What?

Envy: You wanna make out?

Ed: Hell no!! I'm straight!_(sorry yoai fans)_

Envy: Really?

Ed: Yeah!!!

Envy: Okay. _-transforms into animefan127-_ How about now?

Ed: NO!!!

Envy: So you are gay.

Ed: _-slaps fore head in frustration-_ NO YOU STUPID PALM TREE!!

Envy: Palm tree? I'm animefan127.

Ed: ANIMEFAN127 IS SLEEPING!!! _-points to animefan127 on the couch-_

Envy: Awwww... Edo-kun is having a hard time, huh?

Ed: _-blushes-_ NO!!!

yumyumbagel: _-walks out of room-_ I waaaaannnnaaaaa piiiiiiiiiiiggggyy baaaaaaack riiiiiiiide!!!! _-sees two animefan127s and watches one approach Ed slowly with a mischievious grin while Ed backs away in terror-_ I still wanna piggy back ride, Envy...

Ed: Yumyumbagel!! HELP!!! _-Envy tackles Ed to the floor-_

yumyumbagel: _-stares in shock-_ ...You don't love me... do you... ? _-cries and runs into her room-_

animefan127: _-wakes up and sees another animefan127 trying to rape Ed- _HEY!! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM!!! _-tackles other animefan127 away from Ed-_

-------random----------break-----------(with authoresses talking)-----------

animefan127: Ed... is... MINE!!!

yumyumbagel: You know... Ed and Envy on each other is pretty hot.

animefan127: For you maybe. Ed's mine!!

yumyumbagel: Envy's my smexy palm tree.

animefan127: I don't give two shits about Envy. Ed's mine!! Not Envy's!!

yumyumbagel: Well... Kankuro's mine!!(see naruto)

animefan127: You can have him **and **his doll!!

yumyumbagel: IT'S NOT A DOLL!!! IT'S PUPPET!!!

animefan127: Same difference!!

---------back-----------to----------the----------------story-------------------(-)V(down)

animefan127: _-beating the shit out of the other animefan127-_

yumyumbagel: _-still crying in her room-_

Ed: _-speechless-_

animefan127: ED IS MINE, MINE, MINE!!! YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM YOU FUCKING WHORE!!!

Envy: _-transforms into his original self and shoves animefan127 away-_ GEEZ!!

animefan127: _-blinks in suprise-_ Envy?

yumyumbagel: _-louder crying heard from room-_

Envy: What the hell is your problem?!?! Geez!!

animefan127: YOU TRYING TO RAPE ED!! THAT'S THE PROBLEM!!!

Ed: _-still speechless-_

Envy: That's none of your concern or business!!!

yumyumbagel: _-cries louder-_

animefan127: IT IS SINCE ED IS MY BOYFRIEND!!!!

Envy: HE'S NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND!!!

animefan127: What are you talking about?!

yumyumbagel: _-cries through PA system-_

Envy: You accused Ed of cheating on you and said "It's **over!!**", therefore he's not your boyfriend anymore!!!

animefan127: B-but you have a girlfriend!!!

yumyumbagel: _-louder crying is heard-_

Envy: Your point?!

Ed: _-still speechless-_

animefan127: WHY ARE YOU BEING A BISEXUAL?!

Envy: _-gasps-_ Take. That. Back.

animefan127: _-growls-_ Make me.

yumyumbagel: _-walks out and cries in front of Envy-_

Ed: _-still speechless-_

**TO BE CONTINUED(MAYBE)...**


	7. Yumyumbagel's REAL Mom

animefan127: We're back... T-T

yumyumbagel: And I have more ideas than ever!(-)

animefan127: Why couldn't I be in school... ? Why did I have to be **here** on a **saturday** with almost nothing to **do!!!**

yumyumbagel: We could make out.

animefan127: O.o What?! No!!! I'm not a lesbian!! I'm straight!! NO YURI!!!

yumyumbagel: So is spaghetti 'till you warm it up...

animefan127: _-disgusted-_ Eww... so didn't need to know that...

-----Chapter-------------7--------(DDR!!!)

animefan127: _-snorts-_ I don't need to take anything back!! You are sooooooo a BISEXUAL PALMTREE!!! Oh yeah... In your FACE!!! _-points to Envy on the face-_

yumyumbagel: _-rolling on floor crying-_

Envy: _-tackles animefan127 to the floor-_

animefan127: _-screaming her head off-_

Ed: _-snaps back to reality and tackles Envy off of animefan127-_

Izumi: _-opens door and walks in to see: yumyumbagel crying and rolling on the floor hysterically, Ed wrestling Envy on the floor with animefan127 speechless and watching them, and the king, from burger king, peering through the window with a burger in hand-_

yumyumbagel: _-bolts upright, stops crying, gasps, and points at the window-_ IT'S THE KING!!! _-bolts out of the door after the burger king mascot-_

The king: _-gives thumbs up to yumyumbagel, while handing her the burger, and runs after Scar-_

Scar: _-sees the king and starts running away-_

yumyumbagel: _-walks back into house pissed and stands in front of Ed-Envy dog pile-_ THIS MAY BE HOT, BUT DON'T MAKE ME EAT THIS BURGER!!!!

Ed, Envy, & animefan127: _-gasps-_

Izumi: _-sighs, while shaking head in disappointment, and leaves-_

animefan127: _-scrambles to her feet-_ Don't do it!!!

yumyumbagel: Okay... I'm not doing that with Envy until later, but I mean that I will **EAT THE BURGER!!!**

Envy: _-rolls eyes-_

animefan127: _-yawns-_

Ed: And that's it?

yumyumbagel: You'll regret it!! _-takes a bite of burger and starts choking-_

animefan127: _-does himlech maneuver-_ BREATHE DAMN YOU!!!!

_-chair flies in and knocks out animefan127 after yumyumbagel coughs up hamburger-_

Ed: Are you okay?!

yumyumbagel: Well... have I ever been okay?

Ed: _-snaps-_ Not you!! Animefan127!!! _-runs over to knocked out animefan127 and shakes shoulder in attempt to awaken her-_

Envy: _-picks up "Random Karma Sutra of Today" Vol. 1 and reads-_

yumyumbagel: _-looks over shoulder-_ I'm hungry...

Ed: Hey!! A little help over here!!!

yumyumbagel: _-cooeing-_ C'mon animefan127!! Come on!! I got a slushie fooooor yoooooou...

Ed: It's not working! Hey... she's got a scratch on her hand.

_-yumyumbagel and Ed look at scratch closely-_

yumyumbagel: Well... maybe we should just leave her here and everything will be all right.

_-two more chairs fly through broken window and knock out Ed and Envy(yumyumbagel shouldn't be left alone, remember?)-_

yumyumbagel: Oh gosh... so many possibilities... right now... must control... self. _-eye twitches-_ Aww screw it!!!

_-gets up and pokes everything, making things go splody, with Ode to Joy playing in the backround-_

yumyumbagel: _-gasps-_ Ed and animefan127's room! _-stares at the door before her in awe-_

Hughes: _-walks in-_ Hey!! I got some new pictures of Elysia-- _-looks around to see nearly everything destroyed, Ed, Envy, and animefan127 knocked out on the ground, and yumyumbagel blowing things up... again-_ Ready to go to the asylum now?!

yumyumbagel: _-looks at Hughes and he explodes-_ Uh oh... gotta hide the body... _-grabs all the pieces of Hughes and stuffs them into the refrigerator(gasp! It didn't explode!!)-_ They'll never find it here!!

-------3----------hours------------------later----------------

yumyumbagel: _-sitting on the ground with finger paint, painting pictures of everyone-_

Ed: _-yawns, half asleep, and walks into the kitchen to the refigerator; not noticing the half destroyed house-_

animefan127: _-wakes up and bolts to her feet-_ MY HOUSE!!!! AGAIN!!!!

yumyumbagel: _-still playing with finger paint, humming-_

Ed: _-shouts-_ YUMYUMBAGEL!!!!

yumyumbagel: _-not paying attention-_

animefan127: _-walks into kitchen-_ What is it Ed-- _-sees pieces of Hughes falling out of the refrigerator and hitting the floor with a plop-_

Ed: _-veeeeeeeery pissed-_ Yumyumbagel killed Hughes and stuffed him into the refrigerator!! Now the refrigerator smells like something decaying!!!

animefan127: But there was. Anyways, we better put the pieces somewhere where nobody will find them... we don't want the police at our door.

Police officer: It's the police!! Open up!!!

yumyumbagel: _-gets up and walks to door somehow now covered in red fingerpaint-_

animefan127: Geez!! Did I just **not** say that we didn't want the police at our door?!

Ed: _-runs into living room to see yumyumbagel about to open the door; in slow motion-_ NOOOOOOOO!!! _-dives and tries to tackle yumyumbagel from the door; in slow motion-_

yumyumbagel: _-turns to see Ed and jumps out of the way-_

Ed: _-misses yumyumbagel and hits the couch instead-_

yumyumbagel: _-opens the door-_

Police officer: Hello miss. We have reports of a missing person named "Hughes" who was seen here three hours ago and hasn't returned. We would like to examine the premesis.

yumyumbagel: Okay, go ahead, but for a price. _-sinister laugh-_

Police officer: Okay... ?

yumyumbagel: You can... let me paint your picture.

Police officer: _-sweatdrops-_ Sure. _-Ed moves and officer sits on couch-_

Ed: _-runs back into kitchen to see animefan127 picking up the pieces and putting them in a black trash bag-_ Hurry! He's sitting on the couch!!

animefan127: Huh? Why is he sitting on the couch?

Ed: Yumyumbagel is painting his picture.

animefan127: Aww shit!! We gotta get outta here!

Ed? Why?

animefan127: After five minutes, tops, that police officer will be killed.

Ed: O.o

Envy: _-wakes up to see yumyumbagel playing with fingerpaint while a police officer is sitting on the couch and sighs-_ Now what did I tell you about playing with fingerpaint?!

yumyumbagel: Not to drink it.

Envy: _-looks around- _What did you do?

yumyumbagel: _-also looks around-_ Decorated. _-grins-_

Envy: Were you left home alone?

yumyumbagel: Technically no... but you were all knocked out and I was alone.

Envy: _-looks to police officer-_ And what are you doing here?

Police officer: Reports of a missing person.

Envy: _-looks at yumyumbagel-_ What did you do?

yumyumbagel: I took out the trash.

animefan127:_-walks through living room with black trash bag-_

Police officer: Where are you going?!

animefan127: To take out the trash.

Police officer: Oh... okay... _-waits until animefan127 is outside, then realizes something-_ Wait a minute... this girl already took out the trash!!

yumyumbagel: _-looks at Envy-_ Now?

Envy: Yep.

yumyumbagel: _-pokes police officer and he explodes-_

Ed: YUMYUMBAGEL!!! AS IF THERE WEREN'T ENOUGH PROBLEMS ALREADY!!!

yumyumbagel: _-starts crying-_

-----outside-------------------------------------------

animefan127: _-stuffs trash bag into the green garbage pail-_ Poor Gracia... oh well. At least there won't be anymore crazy pictures of Elysia.

Sloth: _-walking down the street-_

animefan127: Hi soon-to-be mother-in-law!!! _-waves enthusiastically-_

Sloth: What are you talking about?

animefan127: Well... me and Ed are dating, we're gonna get married, then we'll have some kids, and then we'll die of old age. Together. _-grins-_

Sloth: Well good luck.

animefan127: Thank you.

Sloth: Oh. Not about Ed.

animefan127: What?

Sloth: I was talking about the crazy bugs bunny behind you with the machine gun. _-walks away quickly-_

animefan127: _-turns to see a machine gun at her head-_ Oh come on!!!

Bugs bunny: _-laughs sinisterly-_

------------in----------------house-------------------

Ed: Now what can we do? We have no more trash bags!!

yumyumbagel: Bury it in the backyard.

Ed: _-stares at yumyumbagel-_ That's just barbaric.

yumyumbagel: _-pouts-_ Nu-uh!!

Envy: Wait... I've got a better idea.

Ed: What?

Envy: Let's **burn** them in the backyard.

Ed: _-slaps forehead in frustration-_ Gah!! That's even worse!!!

yumyumbagel: How 'bout we just make them go splody... or hide them in the attic! _-grins- _

Ed: ... Then the attic would stink.

Envy: Is there no solution?!

_-bugs bunny crashes in with machine gun, shoots the pieces of the officer's body until they turn to dust, and then leaves-_

Ed: ... That works.

------random-----------authoress-------break---(with authoresses talking)-------

yumyumbagel: Please?

animefan127: No!

yumyumbagel: Please?!

animefan127: NO!!!

yumyumbagel: PLEASE?!?! _-rolling on floor-_

animefan127: **NO!!!!**

yumyumbagel: **PLEASE?!?!**

animefan127: ** I SAID NO!!! WHAT PART OF 'NO' DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?!?!**

yumyumbagel: All of it!!

animefan127: _-sighs-_ I said no. You cannot borrow my FMA soundtrack vol. 2!!! It's my precious!!! Well... second precious... Ed's my first precious...

yumyumbagel: Kankuro's mine.(see Naruto)

---------back------------on----street--------------------

animefan127: _-clutching left arm in pain from bullet and walks into house; blood dripping onto floor-_

Ed: O.O Oh my fucking god!!!

Envy: O.O

yumyumbagel: _-goes into attic-_

animefan127: Stupid... machine... gun...

Ed: Geez! Bugs bunny sure is evil...

Envy: What?! No!! I'm eviller than bugs bunny!!!

animefan127: _-faints from massive blood loss and pain-_

Ed: Envy!! Get the medic!!!

Envy: _-turns into medic-_

Ed: Not you!! The one in the attic!!

Envy: _-turns back into self and gasps-_ You mean yumyumbagel's real mother?! The **Grudge?!**(Kayako Grudge's name)

Ed: _-serious tone-_ That's right.

----------In------------attic----------------------

yumyumbagel: No, you cannot bite off Ed's lower jaw.

Kayako: Uhhhhhhhh...(grudge noise)

yumyumbagel: Weeeeeeell... Scar's a different story.

Kayako: Uhhhhhhhhh...

yumyumbagel: No, you can't live in the garage.

Kayako: Uhhhhhhhhh...

yumyumbagel: _-realizes-_ That's right!! We don't **have** a garage!!

-----On---------Attic--------------Stairs---------------

Ed: _-pushes Envy forward-_ Y-You go first!!

Envy: _-goes behind Ed and pushes him forward-_ No way!!

Ed: _-getting angry and pushes Envy first again-_ I insist!!

Envy: Ladies first!!! _-shoves Ed forward-_

Ed: _-trips and falls; knocking Envy back down the stairs-_

Envy: _-stands up getting pissed-_ What did you do that for?!

Ed: _-stands up on stair-_ You shoved me!!

yumyumbagel: _-opens door and begins to walk down stairs with Kayako behind her on a leash-_ Hey guys!! I'm going to bring my mom down so you might wanna move everybody that's knocked out three houses away.

Ed: Why?_ -turns to see Kayako 1 ft. away from his face-_

Kayako: Uhhhhh... _-slowly trying to grab Ed's jaw-_

yumyumbagel: NO!!! _-pulls Kayako back on the leash-_ BACK!!!

Ed: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _-steps backwards and falls (about fifteen steps)-_

Envy: Hi Kayako-- _-knocked backwards from a "flying Ed"-_

yumyumbagel: Where's animefan127? _-walks out of staircase and sees animefan127 on couch; unconcience; then looks at Kayako-_ Uh oh... Ed, you might wanna move your girlfriend... she's gonna be dead in about three minutes tops.

Ed: Wha?!

Kayako: Uhhhhhh... _-crawling towards animefan127-_

Ed: Pull her back on the goddamned leash!!!

yumyumbagel: _-sees leash is no longer in hand-_ Oh yeah... she ate it when you weren't looking. _-grins-_ Go get her mom!!

Envy: _-looks at yumyumbagel pitifully-_ Wow... you're mean.

Ed: _-scrambles to feet-_ Why do **I** have to be the one to defend animefan127 all the time?!

yumyumbagel & Envy: Cause she's your girlfriend.

yumyumbagel: C'mon mom!! I'll give you some meat from the fridge!! IT'S RAW!!!

Kayako: _-about to grab animefan127's jaw-_

Ed: _-running towards Kayako; attempting to body slam her-_

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

Extras: Commercial!!

Announcer: Are you tired of spilling fruitpunch allllllllll over your desk(based on something that just happened)?

Person: Who the hell are you?

Announcer: Then look no further!! Clean it up with-- _-brings out a tape dispenser-_ TAPE BE GONE!!!

Person: WTF?! What does that have to do with anything?!

Announcer: Just put it on the spill and the tape will be gone!!

Person: That's retarded... what about the fucking spill?!

Announcer: Warning: **Taking** tape be gone may result in diarhea, depression, insomnia, heart failure, pregnancy, blood clots, AIDS, testicular cancer, enlargement of the breasts, suicidal thoughts, mental issues, retardation, sudden craving for drugs, HIV, STD's, herpies, Asian crack hoes coming to your door in the middle of the night, and spontaneous human combustion.

Person: GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY HOUSE!!!!

Announcer: Do not take tape be gone if you have suffered from: Coffee addiction, smoking, pregnancy, death, cerebral palsy, cancer, chicken pox, cold or flue, and stupidity.

Person: _-brings out machine gun and shoots announcer-_

**TO BE(REALLY) CONTINUED...**


	8. The Return of Blackribbon5

yumyumbagel: I'm eating grilled cheese, baby!

animefan127: _-sleeping-_

yumyumbagel: Fine! Be that way! Don't talk!!

animefan127: _-snores-_

yumyumbagel: THAT'S THE SPIRIT!!!

----chapter----------------------------8-----------------------------(grilled cheese!)-----------------

yumyumbagel: I be dat ho workin' dem streets, fo' my baby daddy

----------------Sound of a record being scratched----------------------

Blackribbon5: If you would allow me to pause your reading for a moment.

yumyumbagel: _-off stage-_ NO ONE CAN UNDERSTAND YOU! SPEAK ENGLISH IN THE UNITED STATES!

Blackribbon5: But, they can understand me just fine. I do not appriciate your brash use of language and I am positive that they do not either. I would like to take this time to apologize to the audience formally for the strange words we use in the past, present and future chapters of this fanfic. Thank you...And I would also like to anounce that this chapter will also be entitled "the return of Blackribbon5" Thank you and good night.

--------------------------sound of record starting back up again---------------------

Kayako: Uhhhhhhhhhh... _-about to eat animefan127's jaw-_

Blackribbon5: _-walks in with Riza's body; covered in her blood- _

Ed: _-freezes- _Wait a minute!! I remember you!!! _-runs away from Blackribbon5-_

Blackribbon5: _-tosses Riza'a body at Kayako- _Here girl!!! IT'S RAW!!!!

Kayako: _-looks up and catches Riza's dead corpse in her jaws; chomping on it with blood spurting onto the rug-_

animefan127: _-wakes up-_ Hey!! THAT'S A NEW RUG, BITCH!!!

Kayako: _-starts crawling back up the stairs with Riza's corpse-_

Blackribbon5: JUSTICE IS DONE!!! _-does peace sign-_

Ed & Envy: WTF...?

Blackribbon5: Holy crap!! _-looks around-_ Surround sound!!

animefan127: Yeah, I bought it in my spare time. _-grins-_ Miaaaaaaaaaaaammmmiiiiiii... fun.

Blackribbon5: Wow... _-looks at Ed-_ who's the midget?

... O.o;;(Oh shit...)

animefan127: Ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod--

Ed: _-yelling-_ I'M NOT A DAMNED MIDGET!!! I'M NOT TINY, SMALL OR MICROSCOPIC!!!

Blackribbon5: _-pats Ed on the head-_ I'm not calling you tiny, small or microscopic... I'm saying you're small enough that a paperclip could crush you.

...O.o;;(Okay... does Blackribbon5 have a deathwish?!)

Ed: _-becomes reaaaaaaaally twitchy-_

Blackribbon5: I mean seriously... how do you and animefan127 do... "it"?

animefan127: _-sweatdrops-_ Does it MATTER?!?!

Blackribbon5: Well I know how Roy and **I** do "it", but you have... "The Midget". I mean, someone who a paperclip could crush, someone who gets lost in a bathroom rug... I mean...

Ed: _-gives a battle cry and lunges at Blackribbon5 and knocks her to the ground-_

Blackribbon5: I'm sorry, **chibi,** I have someone already... and he's **way** taller than you.

Ed: I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!! I SWEAR--

animefan127: _-throws Ed onto couch effortlessly(cause he doesn't weigh alot)-_ Okay... calm down.

Ed: B-But she--

animefan127: I know. Remember, I'm the exact same height as you. _-turns to Blackribbon5-_

3...

2...

1...

animefan127: YOU FRIGGIN' BITCH!!! I'M AS TALL AS ED, WHICH MEANS YOU'RE MAKING FUN OF ME TOO!!! -_lunges at Blackribbon5 who just stood up and starts punching her-_

Blackribbon5: _-throws animefan127 on couch; on Ed(cause Blackribbon5 is a vampire and strong)-_

Ed: Gack!!!

Blackribbon5: First!! I was insulting him!!! _-points at Ed- _Not you becuase YOU are the right height for a FEMALE!!! While ... uh... Ed, is ALSO the correct height for a female!! That, and his hair style of choice works too.

Ed: _-screaming- _I'M NOT A FUCKING GIRL!!!

Envy: Or so you say...

animefan127: _-jumps off of Ed and glares at Blackribbon5-_ He's not a GIRL!!! How DARE you insult the protagonist of a widely watched anime!!!

Ed: Anime?

animefan127: _-looks to Ed-_ Forget I said that. _-looks back at Blackribbon5-_ So you're BASICALLY insulting Hiromu Arakawa!!!

_-everybody gasps-_

Blackribbon5: I'm not insulting her... I'm insulting her mother.

_-everybody gasps again-_

Blackribbon5: SARCASM!!!

Everybody: Oh... okay.

yumyumbagel: _-dies randomly-_

Envy: _-starts clapping-_

animefan127: That's mean!!!

Envy: Oh... whoops. I thought it was an act. NOOOOOOOO--

Ed: So... does that mean the world is safe now?

animefan127: No, Ed. It was just tossed into total chaos.

_-things start randomly exploding-_

animefan127: _-panicing- _WE NEED PHEONIX DOWN!!! AND FAST!!! _-running around in circles-_

Blackribbon5: _-randomly explodes-_

Everybody(except yumyumbagel): O.o;;

Envy: Can I clap now?

Ed: YES!!! SHE CALLED ME A FRIGGIN' GIRL!!!

Envy: _-claps __enthusiastically__-_

animefan127: _-runs to Spira and sees Tidus(see Final Fantasy X)-_

Tidus: Who the hell are you?

animefan127: _-kills Tidus, steals Pheonix Down, and runs all the way back to Earth-_

Envy: _-still mourning-_ OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--

yumyumbagel: _-still dead-_

animefan127: _-bangs through door-_ I GOT IT!!!

Yuna: YOU KILLED TIDUS!!! _-explodes-_

_-everybody stares and Envy, miraculously, stops mourning-_

Ed: The world **is** going in chaos... what if she really dies?

_-everybody pictures random stuff-_

animefan127: _-picturing flying mutant tacos, with lasers, destroying the volcanic covered world-_

Envy: _-pictures sitting in the bathtub and then a giant rubber ducky bites his head off-_

Ed: _-looks at the sentence above-_ This looks like a three year old's mind.

Envy: Oh yeah?! And what did **you** picture?!

Ed: _-pictured the sun exploding and everything turning into a burning mass of chaos-_

animefan127: _-points to sentence above-_ That's what he pictured.

Envy: Oh... just bring her back to life.

animefan127: Okay!!

Gluttony: _-comes in door and eats Pheonix Down-_

animefan127: _-temple pops out-_

3...

2...

1...

animefan127: YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!! THE WORLD'S GONNA END BECAUSE OF YOU!!! ASSHOLE!!! _-grabs frying pan and starts chasing Gluttony around with it-_

Ed: WAIT!!! It's... It's... !!!

Envy: _-gasps-_

yumyumbagel: _-dead-_

Kayako: _-coming back downstairs-_

animefan127: _-turns-_

Gluttony: THE KING!!!

_-everybody sees the king outside, holding pheonix down, giving a thumbs up-_

animefan127: GIVE ME THE DAMNED FEATHER!!!! _-crashes through window and runs after the King-_

The King: _-runs away-_

----random----------author's--------------------break--------------(duuuuuur...)-----------------

animefan127: Woohoo!! We have no LIVES!!!

yumyumbagel: ;;

animefan127? What? Do you actually **want** a life? SAY IT ISN'T SOOO!!! _-cries-_

yumyumbagel: It is...

animefan127: _-still crying-_

yumyumbagel: _-smelling coral(see the ocean)-_

animefan127: W-what are you doing... ?

yumyumbagel: _-hacks-_ It doesn't smell good.

animefan127: Did you try eating it yet?

yumyumbagel: _-gasps- _No...

------------cliffhanger(or do you spell it cliffhangar?)-------------------------------

Hughes: Ahh!! What a beautiful day! _-dumpster explodes- _It's soooo great to be alive!! _-looks in the street to see the BK mascot being chased by a hoarde of people with torches and pitchforks-_ Now that's something you don't see everyday...

--------at-----------the-----------------------chase-------------------------

animefan127: _-tackles the king to the ground-_ I GOT HIM!!!!

Ed: _-grabs Pheonix Down-_

Envy: _-grinning-_

animefan127 & Ed: O.o?!

Envy: DOGPILE!!!!

Ed & animefan127: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Envy: _-about to jump when residential houses explode-_

animefan127: Envy!! We don't have time for this!! _-snatches Pheonix Down from Ed-_

Ed: ...

Envy: Wait for it... wait for it... okay, now.

Ed: IT'S THE APOCALYPSE!!! _-runs after animefan127-_

Envy: _-grins and starts reading "Random Lives of Today" vol. 8- _ What a beautiful day... _-people are running around, screaming, exploding, and spontaneously combusting(with other objects such as houses, cars, garbage cans, etc), while Envy sits on a lawn chair reading the book-_

-----------at----------------------------house-------------------------------

animefan127: _-about to collapse from trying to be better than Speedy Gonzalez-_ I'm... here... now!!! _-falls on the floor and crawls over to yumyumbagel's corpse-_

Ed: _-walks in casually-_ Wow. Did you see what's happening out there? All because yumyumbagel died.

animefan127: _-uses pheonix down- _I'm starting to wonder if I'll benefit from this...

yumyumbagel: I'm back!!!

_-all chaos ceases: birds are singing, fires immediately stop, and everything broken returns to normal(even people, except for the ones who exploded)-_

Ed and animefan127: O.o Who the hell is your dad?!?!

yumyumbagel: The Grim Reaper. _-grins-_ :D He looooooooves me as a daughter.

Ed: _-stifles a laugh-_

animefan127: .;; Uh-huh...

yumyumbagel? You don't believe me? Envy got scared shitless looking at him!!

Envy: _-walks in-_ Hey!!!

yumyumbagel: _-shrugs-_ It's true.

Envy: I thought it was a secret... _-sniffs-_

Grim Reaper: What 'chu talkin' 'bout?

Envy: O.O N-n-nothing!!!

Ed: O.O

animefan127: Is it Halloween already? _-checks calender-_ Huh... guess not...

yumyumbagel: DADDY!!! _-glomps grim reaper-_

Grim Reaper: Where's yo mamma?

yumyumbagel: Lust or Kayako?

Grim Reaper: Kayako.

yumyumbagel: Feeding.

Grim Reaper: ... what 'bout Lust?

yumyumbagel: Dead.

Grim Reaper: ... who killed 'er?

yumyumbagel: Me.

Grim Reaper: ... damn...

animefan127: Oh!! Tell him about the time you rolled in crap!!!

yumyumbagel: I blew up the fridge, a-and t-then I rolled on the stuff in it...

Ed: O.O

Envy: O.O

animefan127: Remember the rubber ducky?

yumyumbagel: It almost killed me!!! _-cries-_ And Envy didn't do anything to protect me!!!

Ed: _-cowers behind animefan127-_

Envy: _-disinegrates-_

yumyumbagel: O.o But I loves him...

Grim Reaper: _-groans in annoyance and Envy returns to the way he was before-_

yumyumbagel: Just smack him around a bit.

Grim Reaper: _-walks over to Envy and starts smacking him with a glove-_

animefan127: _-grins-_

Ed: _-still cowering-_

animefan127: H-hey!! I have a request!!!

Grim Reaper: What?

animefan127: Uh... um... er... hmm... can't think of it. Ask me again in five minutes. :D

yumyumbagel: _-rolls around on the floor-_

Grim Reaper: What the hell is wrong with you, child?

yumyumbagel: I dunno. Genetics... ?

Ed: _-regained composure-_ Bring back Al!!

Grim Reaper: Sorry, but I can't do that.

Ed?!

Grim Reaper: Once a soul goes past the gate, I can't do shit. Sorry, but it's the big eye ball's property and he doesn't like me... we fight a lot.

Ed: _-pissed-_ Great!! And to think I had connections with Death itself...

yumyumbagel: Yup!! Me!!!

Grim Reaper: But... I can bring back the jelly doughnuts you ate.

Ed: How?!

Grim Reaper: Dunno. The giant eye didn't like 'em... no mouth.

Ed: Oh...

Grim Reaper: I was gonna give 'em to yumyumbagel as a birthday present, but with her being a dip-shit, retard, and among other things, this is the Philosopher's Stone. Imagine what she would do with them.

Everybody: _-thinks of the world exploding-_

yumyumbagel: I can't wait to blow up the world:D

Envy: That's a **bad** thing.

Ed: Aye yie yie...

animefan127: _-falls asleep and falls on the floor-_

Ed?!

Grim Reaper: Huh...

yumyumbagel: _-gasps-_

Envy: Is she... dead... ?

yumyumbagel: Someone in here is a... MUDERER!!!

Grim Reaper: Obviously. I'm Death itself.

yumyumbagel: ... Never thought about it that way... _-points at the Grim Reaper-_ You're a MURDERER!!!

Ed: Duh.

Envy: _-rolls his eyes-_

animefan127: _-still knocked out-_

Ed: Wait!!! I know who the murderer is!!!

Envy: Who?

Ed: HIM!!! _-points out the window at the King-_

Grim Reaper: _-looks at the King and he dies of a heart attack-_

yumyumbagel: **Now** do you believe me when I said that he scared Envy shitless?

Ed: _-nodds-_

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	9. PARTY!

animefan127: _-gasp-_ We might end the series early!!!

yumyumbagel: Really?

animefan127: Yeah... O.o Our readers won't review!!

yumyumbagel: REVIEW!!! I COMMAND YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!! _-points at readers dramatically-_

animefan127: ... _-sweatdrops-_

yumyumbagel: Eh, heh... I just woke up!(It's 9:30 and she **just** woke up... what's up with that?? O.o)

animefan127: Uh-huh... onto the chapter... _-falls asleep-_

yumyumbagel: Hey!! That's not fair!! You woke **me** up!!! _-goes back to sleep-_

---------------------------chapter------------------------------9-------------------------(sleep!)----------

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhbhbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq(oh shit! Sorry people!! We did that on mistake!!)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

yumyumbagel: Lalalalalala...

Ed: Why are you calm?!

yumyumbagel: Because...

Envy?

yumyumbagel: I can be. I do whatevah I want.

Ed: Whatever.

Envy: _-shrugs-_

Grim Reaper: She's dead.

Ed: O.o

Envy: O.o

yumyumbagel:D

Ed: W... w-what?!

Envy: Holy crap!!

yumyumbagel:D

Grim Reaper: Uh, yeah. She's dead. _-points to animefan127-_

Ed: T-Then bring her back!!!

Envy: You can just kill people like that?! O.o

Grim Reaper: Yeah... sometime it just slips. And it takes an hour.

Ed: _-cursing every name under the sun-_

Envy: TEACH ME!!! TEACH ME TO KILL PEOPLE LIKE YOU DO:D

Grim Reaper: Uh... yeeeeaaaaano. That was given to yumyumbagel. Notice how she destroys things.

yumyumbagel: _-blowing up ants-_

Envy: Dammit!! Why don't **I** get any fun in life?!?!

yumyumbagel: Wanna do me?

Envy: No!!

Ed: Envy, you don't have a life.

Envy: ... _-realizes Ed is right-_ Oh crap...

Ed: You lost your life when you dated yumyumbagel.

Envy: _-realizes Ed is right, yet again-_ Damn... are you psychic or something??

yumyumbagel: Hey!!!

Ed: Nope. :D

Envy: That's weird...

yumyumbagel: _-bites Envy's head-_

Envy: AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! GET HER OFFA MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Grim Reaper: Can't save you now. Be back in an hour with animefan127.

Ed: W-wait!!! Don't leave us here alone with--

Grim Reaper: _-vanishes-_

Ed: _-cursing again-_

Envy: _-running and flailing because yumyumbagel won't let go of Envy's head-_ HEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

Ed: Oh shit... what do I do now?! O.o _-gasps-_ PAINT!!!

Envy:_ -still running around while Ed grabs paint can and brush-_

yumyumbagel: _-gets off, runs over to Ed, sits on the floor, and looks at the paint; starry eyed-_ Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnttttt...

Ed: O.o?! Back beast!!! Back!!! _-trying to shoo yumyumbagel away with paintbrush-_

yumyumbagel: _-eats the paintbrush-_

Ed: O.O ?! What the fuck?!

Envy: _-reading-_

Ed: Dammit, Envy!!! Get over here and entertain yumyumbagel!!! I gotta paint!!!

Envy: For what?

Ed: The party, retard!!!

yumyumbagel: _-gasps-_ PARTY!!!

Envy: _-grins like a little kid and starts bouncing around the room-_ PARTY!!!

Ed: I knew I shouldn't have told them... _-sighs and returns to painting-_

yumyumbagel: _-does the berries and cream dance-_ PARTY!!!

Envy: _-copying yumyumbagel-_ PARTY!!!

---------at----------------the-----------------------------------gate------------------------------(party!!)----------

_-party is going on with people who died in the series(besides hughes)-_

_-random scream that says "Show us your boobs!!"-_

animefan127: So you died from... ?

Pride: Drinking tea. You?

animefan127: I just fell on the floor and died.

Pride: ... damn... that's gotta suck...

animefan127: _-nodds and drinks vodka-_ Oh yeah. It does. But here we have a party!!! _-grins-_

Pride: Yeah, before we go into the gate. Then we're in for hell.

animefan127: That sounds...

Pride?

animefan127: FUN!!!!

Pride: With people eating your flesh from the inside out?

animefan127: Oh. Well that changes some things... Death!! Are you ready to go?!

Grim Reaper: It's the Grim Reaper!!! And yes, in an hour.

animefan127: O.o We don't have a damned hour!!! The eye ball is ready to suck us into eternal darkness and have our flesh eaten from the inside out!!!

Grim Reaper: Oh... so that's why no one ever made it past here...

animefan127: Damndamndamndamndamndamn... ready to go?!

Grim Reaper: Fine... but if you spontaneously combust, it's not my fault-- it's the eye ball.

animefan127: WAIT!!! Okay, I can get out of this alive...

Grim Reaper: Really?

animefan127: SHUT UP!!! MES GOTS TA THINK!!!

Grim Reaper: Well you've only got three more minutes.

animefan127: _-gasps-_ That's it!!! VODKA!!!!

Grim Reaper?

animefan127:_ -grabs bottle of vodka and runs back to the grim reaper-_ Okay!! Take me back now!!

Grim Reaper: Fine.

animefan127: If I start to Spontaneously combust, the vodka will explode-- sending us back faster.

Grim Reaper: And that's good... how?

animefan127: I don't know, but we won't find out if we don'y get out of here!!!

Grim Reaper: _-vanishes with animefan127-_

_-everybody at the party is then sucked into the gate where their flesh is eaten from the inside out :D-_

--------------at----------------------animefan127's---------------------house--------------------------------------

animefan127: _-bursts through door with a broken vodka bottle-_ I'm!!!! Alive!!!!

Ed: _-staring at the vodka bottle-_ Who'd you kill?

animefan127: I used it to get me here faster when I started to spontaneously combust! _-grins-_

Ed?!

Envy: _-still doing the berries and cream dance-_

yumyumbagel: _-thinking of food-_

animefan127: What's going on?

Ed: We're going to have a party.

animefan127: Why?

Ed: Because the series is almost finished.

yumyumbagel: FOOOOOOOOD!!!! _-bolts into the kitchen-_

animefan127: Oh yeah... chapter 10 is the last one, right?

Ed: Yeah, unless people review.

animefan127: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight...

**THE AUTHORESSES HAVE LEFT FOR A MINUTE TO GRAB BREAKFAST-- BE BACK IN 10 MINUTES!!! ;D**

Ed & Envy: _-look at sentence abov-_ Damn...

**THE AUTHORESSES HAVE RETURNED(WAITING FOR BREAKFAST TO BE MADE)**

animefan127: WHO FORGOT TO COOK BREAKFAST?!?!

yumyumbagel: Your mom.

animefan127: ... oh.

Ed: Okay. All done painting. _-only one stripe of paint is on the wall-_

animefan127:D It's beautiful!!!

yumyumbagel: It's marvelous!!!

Envy: It sucks.

Ed: _-glares at Envy-_ I just remembered I can pretty much transmute the wall to be any color.

yumyumbagel: Can you make it pink?(Sorry pink haters)

Ed: Yeah, but I'm not gonna.

yumyumbagel: Why?!

Ed: For many reasons. I don't like the color pink.

animefan127: I don't either.

Envy: I like green. :D

yumyumbagel: I like green too!!

Envy: I don't think I like green anymore... :(

yumyumbagel: _-snaps fingers-_ Damn.

Ed: Anyways, I was going to make it gray.

animefan127: No... too dull.

yumyumbagel: RAINBOW!!!

animefan127: No. That's the gay color.

yumyumbagel: So? It's a pretty color.

animefan127: No.

Ed: How about red?

animefan127: Do you purposely **want** to burn our eyes? Red in the day is like poison!!!!

Ed: No it isn't.

animefan127: Just go with it.

Ed: Okay, what about blue?

animefan127: To gloomy.

yumyumbagel: That's a gay color.

animefan127: No, it's the suicidal color.

yumyumbagel: No!!! Gay color!! It's like the rainbow!!!

animefan127: What're you talking about?!

yumyumbagel: I don't know!!!

Ed: Fine, we'll do a mixture of colors.

yumyumbagel: RAINBOW!!!

Ed: ... except rainbow.

yumyumbagel: Awwww... but it's still gonna look like a rainbow.

Ed: No, it won't. How about red--

animefan127: Poison!!!

Ed: _-sighs-_ Blue--

yumyumbagel: GAY!!!

Ed: No it's not!!! Fine!! Green, black, yellow, and indigo!!

animefan127: Where'd you come up with indigo?

Ed: I... don't know, but it's a color.

yumyumbagel: _-laughing-_ INDIGO!!! That's a funny word!!!

animefan127: No, marglard is a funny word.

yumyumbagel: No, pudding is funnier.

animefan127: True... true...

Envy: ... I feel lonely... _-yumyumbagel hugs him-_ Not anymore.

yumyumbagel: I looooooooves you... I can make you die anytime I want!! So you better love me!!

Envy: I don't feel safe anymore.

Ed: You never were. _-transmutes the wall green, black, and indigo-_

animefan127: It's ugly. Take it off.

Envy: You don't know how wrong that sounds.

animefan127: Whatever. how 'bout... hmm... _-pondering colors-_

yumyumbagel: How about wallpaper?

Ed: NO.

animefan127: I got it!!

Ed: What?

animefan127: ORANGE!!!

yumyumbagel: NO!!! IT BURNS!!!

Ed: It's not on the wall yet.

yumyumbagel: Just **thinking **about it burns!!!

animefan127: Okay, how about black, brown, and orange?

yumyumbagel: Halloween?

animefan127: Yeah.

yumyumbagel: Where's July?

animefan127: Around the corner. :D

Envy: WTF?!

yumyumbagel: Yo mamma.

Ed: _-transmutes wall black, brown, and orange(accompanied by a small pumpkin)-_

animefan127: THIS IS HALLOWEEN, THIS IS HALLOWEEN, HALLOWEEN, HALLOWEEN, HALLOWEEN, HALLOWEEN!!!!

yumyumbagel: _-watching "Chicago"-_

Envy: _-reading-_

Ed: _-sets up all the decorations(with animefan127's help)-_

animefan127: Who should we invite? _-looks through phonebook-_

yumyumbagel: Yo mamma.

Envy: Don't care.

animefan127: I KNOW WHO!!!

Ed?

animefan127: SCAR!!!

Ed, Envy, & yumyumbagel: O.o

yumyumbagel: Okay, even **I'm** not **that** stupid!!!

Ed: O.o Please don't!!

---------random----------------authoresses----------------------break----------------------------------

animefan127: DAMMIT!!!! Sticky!!!!

yumyumbagel: _-sucking on ice-_

animefan127: DAMN YOU MAPLE SYRUP!!! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!!

yumyumbagel: _-runs out of ice-_ It's hot outside.

animefan127: No, we have the AC.

yumyumbagel: Well, not outside.

animefan127: I have a pool.

yumyumbagel: ... :O And **you** never told me!!

animefan127: Well **you** never asked.

yumyumbagel: _-drags animefan127 outside-_

animefan127: NOOOOOOOOO!!! I'LL BURN!!!!

yumyumbagel: WHO CARES?!?!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------(burn!)--------------------

Envy:D FUN!!! TORTURE TIME!!!

animefan127: O...kay... ? _-dials # for Scar's cell phone-_

Scar: _-answers cell phone-_ What?

animefan127: You're invited to my partay!!

Scar: Who is this?

yumyumbagel: Yo mamma!!

Scar: ... I don't have a mother.

yumyumbagel: Tu Madre!!

Scar: ... who is this?

animefan127: It's Ed's girlfriend.

Scar: ... _-hangs up-_

animefan127: How rude!!! That bastard!!!

yumyumbagel: _-on Envy's back-_ PIGGY BACK RIDE!!!

Ed: I invited Al, Roy, Wrath, Izumi, and a few other people.

animefan127: And where was I when this happened?

Ed: On the phone.

animefan127: Oh.

Envy: GET OFFA MY BACK!!!

yumyumbagel: Noooooooooooooooooooo!!! _-still on his back-_ Giddyup!!!

_-doorbell rings-_

Ed: _-stands and walks over to door-_

yumyumbagel: No!! I wanted to get it!!! RUN FOREST!!! RUN!!!

Envy: _-sleeping-_

Ed: _-opens door to reveal everybody he invited(plus the king)-_

Izumi: _-brings in cases of alchohol-_

yumyumbagel: _-steals the cases and goes into room(Envy following close behind)-_

Wrath: _-follows Envy-_ :D

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


End file.
